Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Emperor Obama's 2014 Edicts


Well, now that Obamacare has proven to be such a smashing success it is now time to implement the hundreds of fees assessed to help you taxpayers pay for it.  

The first one you might notice will be $2 dollar Snickers bars and two more bucks for a small bag of potato chips.  (Michelle is going to make you eat broccoli and brown rice if it kills her..or you!)  Beginning January 1st all vending machines must post the calorie count for every single item that drops into that bottom tray.  The vending machine industry says their profit margins were already razor thin due to vandalism and spoilage and they assert they simply cannot absorb the Obamacare fees and sell at the old prices.  The calorie count publication mandate has cost the industry $24.7 million so far and another $25 million per year is to be assessed to each major vendor.  

So, if you enjoyed your Snickers bar or a cold Coke at the office be prepared to pay a lot more for your snack.  Michelle says you shouldn't be eating it anyway and if you disobey her you''ll pay big for the privilege.  The vending association asserts that these new fees will cause them to pare back on placing vending machines in highway rest areas and other public venues where vandalism is already costing them a small fortune.  

Of course, this is not the only Obamacare fee that kicks in this year.  If any of you frequent a tanning booth be prepared to pay big; the tanning salon industry has had to absorb the highest fees as a percentage of charges.  

Most folks may not know that there are over 1400 Obamacare fees woven into every phase of the economy, from fees imposed upon the sale of a home to medical device fees for that mechanical hip replacement or heart pacemaker.

Many of the fees are hidden.  For example, all of the insurers must pay a fee for the privilege of charging you four times what you used to pay in medical premiums.  The smallest fee on bare bones policies is nearly $300 dollars per year and the largest escalating into the thousands of dollars for Cadillac plans.  Keep in mind that these fees are above and beyond the cost of your policy premiums.  

And, lest you forget, your paycheck will be a little smaller as an increase in medicaid taxes takes affect in January.

There is one little bit of good news.  Obama has decided to provide tax subsidies to any farmer willing to plant broccoli and brown rice.

For those who weren't aware till now, the full implementation of the police state is well underway…and you'll feel it in your pocketbook all year long.


Anonymous said...

As usual, the Demonkrauts are giving with the right hand and taking with the left.....

A Modest Scribler said...

Sad but true, anon…they are like cockroaches…once you let them in the house they creep into everything and it is nearly impossible to get rid of them.

Craig said...

How about a new national holiday:Choke an Idiot Day (could also be called Choke a Liberal Day).TThe sad part is the kool aid drinkers will still pray to their worthless leader. Happy New Year!

A Modest Scribler said...

Happy New Year, Craig.

Ken said...

It runs into high dollars to double the size of IRS agents in the field to enforce obamacare to implementing the new domestic army used to swat down any angry Christians and/or Extremist right wing conservative bastards. All that is left now is the praying for a less painful quick death. The fuckwads have won, I'd say. It's a good thing my computer is backlit for I can no longer afford to buy the light bulbs I prefer to read by either. My medications have been severely cut back already as well. I've already begun my painful walk down obamacare lane.

All I can say is Happy F**kin New Year to all you worthless liberals who voted this bastard into power twice and to all you lazy assholes who decided to really show 'em by not voting. Here we are. Not happy about 2014

Ken said...

I'm sorry I got mad and forgot to mention, Happy New Year, to you Mr. Scrib and I just recently noticed you added a picture of yourself and Lovely Mrs. Scribler. Nice touch and Nice to put a face to the person I'm writing to.


A Modest Scribler said...

Vent! Vent! Vent!, Ken…we all have to do it or we would all surely go stark raving mad. May this New Year be the Anointed One's worst and one of our best. :)