Tuesday, June 30, 2015

"Allah Akhbar"


"Ignorance, Illiteracy and Immorality"
Over the weekend I was reading something about how Islam spread around the world, so that today nearly a quarter of the world practices the Islamic religion. I found it quite interesting how cultures as diverse as European, Asian and African embraced the religion. What I found was enlightening.
Islam requires three things to take hold in a society; ignorance, illiteracy and immorality. And it grows quite rapidly because the religion is forced by the tip of the sword...comply or die...there is no room for other beliefs. 
Were it not for The Crusades we'd probably all be deferring from eating pork, praying five times a day, fasting for a month per year and planning our once in a lifetime trek to Mecca. 
But today, Islam has never been more militant and aggressive. Fueled by the instability in the Middle East, and in Africa, Islam is on the march...and winning.
You say it can't happen here? Look back up to those three conditions that must exist for Islam to thrive.
In America today there are very few who can explain the three branches of our Republic. Nearly as many cannot tell you the name of our Vice President, and if he were not such a clown, even fewer could name him. 
As to literacy, the U.S. Department of Education and the Council on Literacy did a study in April, 2013. They found that there are 32 million Americans who can't read...not a word. And nearly 75 million Americans can't read at the 5th grade level. 85% of all youth in the criminal court system are functionally illiterate as well as 70% of all prison inmates.
How we doing on morality? As recently as forty years ago 90% of Americans identified themselves as Christian. 75% attended church at least weekly. Today that attendance is below 50% and even fewer who actually believe in the existence of God. 
And our entire national discussion is being driven by the 2% who are gay and the 1% who are Black urban thugs. The rest of America is busy on social media and watching television...and are far too stupid to converse intelligently on the real problems anyway.
So let's all keep posing those rainbows and championing gaydom. Let's march in the streets about two or three bad white cops and ignore the plague of Black urban crime. Let's keep hollering for more government benefits even as we watch Greece, the latest large socialist failure. 
So the Muslims have pretty well won their war! 90% of you will be either watching TV, posting rainbows on Facebook, castigating White AND Black cops. And the ten percent of us who KNOW, the ten percent of us who are fearful of what's happening, the ten percent of us sounding the alarm, are just not enough to stave off our downfall. Hell, in light of what's happening maybe some of that ten percent will take a look at how things are going and just put out a welcome mat to ISIS!.....could it be any worse? Alas, if the Muslims gain control, there won't be any Glee or CSI's, or heavy metal music. And there won't be any gays to champion...their heads will be rolling down Market Street in San Francisco. And there won't be anymore of those God forsaken Christians that you hate so dearly....just a Koran and a jackboot mullah checking at your door to see if you all got out for the 4AM mosque call.
But we'll no longer have an alcohol problem. That's forbidden. And we won't be having a national discussion about legalizing pot. And the swimsuit manufacturers will be out of business, as will Victoria's Secret. And ladies, don't be worrying about dying your hair...your head will be covered, and you'll lose your driver's license, and your job, and you'll stay home, and you can't divorce...but if your husbands proclaims five times "I divorce you..I divorce you...I divorce you..." you're out on the street begging like the ladies who hung around the Safeway store I saw in Riyadh. And dog lovers; give em up...Muslims believe dogs are a tool of Satan. 
Don't believe this? Go to any Muslim country and look. We have become "prime meat" baby! Allah Ahkbar!

Monday, June 29, 2015

National Madness


Regardless of how you feel about the Confederate flag, or national health care, or gay marriage, don't you find it just a little strange that the national discussion seems always to be about fringe issues, always driven by the minority fringe, while leaving our larger problems to ferment and fester? This bizarre national behavior is difficult to do the math on...even by Common Core standards.
Let's run the numbers. America is populated by some 350 million humans. Of that number two percent identify as gay. 12% are Black, less than one percent are of the Muslim faith, and 20% are Hispanic. Now let's crunch those numbers a bit further. Of the two percent who are gay, half have no interest in getting married...which corresponds with the percentage of heterosexuals who have no interest in marrying, or marrying again. So the entire gay marriage issue is being driven by fewer than 1% of the populace. 
Now let's take a look at African Americans. 95% of African Americans share the same values as any other American; they serve in the Armed Forces, they get up each day and go to work, they obey our laws and honor our traditions. That leaves fewer than 2% who represent the violent urban thug, the radical white-hating element, the violent, loud-mouth creature who screams prejudice at the drop of a hat. 
Now let's look at the Hispanics. A recent Forbes poll showed that 65% of Americans of Hispanic culture claimed employment as their greatest concern, with crime next on their list, and illegal immigration falling to 5th in their priority of concerns. So, it would seem the only Hispanics complaining about amnesty for illegals are the illegals themselves! 
So, I ask. How did our government become totally consumed with gay marriage? Or amnesty for illegal invaders? Or the confederate flag? 
Have we reached a an apex of national insanity? When fewer than five percent of the populace can drive our leadership to it's knees, when our entire national energy is devoted to "fringe elements" while the world erupts around us, and our economy slugs along at 2% of GDP growth...a rate only 1/3rd the average of the last 70 years...a growth rate that will not sustain job development, or even a standard of living that existed just ten years ago...how is it our politicians are devoting nearly all their time on "fringe" interest groups and totally ignoring the 95% of America who just want a decent standard of living and to feel safe in their communities?
And our President demonizes the 55% who identify as Christians and praises to the rooftops the 1% who are Muslim. Why does he fete Muslims for a Ramadan celebration at the White House, and preaches to Christians at the National Prayer Breakfast about Christianity's failings? Why does he light up the White House in rainbow colors when 98% identify as heterosexual? Isn't he supposed to be representing all of us? Why do politicians rush to ban the Confederate flag and say not one word about the destruction of some our most historic national monuments? Why do they give aid and comfort to people who burn down their own neighborhoods? Why do they not condemn the hate speech of militant Blacks who are calling for a holocaust of White Americans? Why do they impose laws on law abiding Americans and totally ignore the lawbreakers?
Perhaps one of you Common Core advocates can run the numbers and explain it all to me in a way I understand. Alas, when I run the numbers I see only madness....and surely a 2nd Civil War cause the vast majority of us are not going to put up with this forever.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

A Visit To Raymond Chandler


When I first moved to San Diego in 1990 I was prepared to write the great American novel.  Or surely the great American mystery.  In the 25 years since I've written two "half ones"...but I guess that doesn't count.  But the hope was still there back in 1990.  I had retired from the Air Force and figured I could allot more time to the endeavor.

Saturday, June 27, 2015



I don't want to give Satan any further due than he's already earned. But it seems to me he's always omnipresent; always lurking just over our shoulder, to keep us from being as good as we might otherwise be. And it seems to me that kindness is like the medicine we rebelled against as a child....that dose of cough syrup might halt our coughing but it tasted so damn bad that we fought the spoon proffered by our mother. 
Yet, being kind is so damn easy. It doesn't require a great deal of effort, and it need not be a big thing...it can be dosed out by the spoonful, and once administered, it makes us feel so much better.
So yesterday, I had to run over to Walmart to pick up some coffee filters. As I drove into the parking lot I found myself vying for the same parking space as a lady coming from the other direction. My signal light was blinking and her opposing light was blinking, both of us looking for that prime spot near the entrance door. So, I put my car in neutral and waved her into the parking spot. And as I drove around to the next row of parking I saw the lady emerge from her car and wave her thanks to me. And it felt good...good enough so that I didn't mind walking the fifty or so extra feet from a parking slot more distant.
So I went into Walmart, picked up a box of coffee filters and walked to the "20 or less" checkout lane. There was a lady who, ahead of me, noted my one item and invited me to go first, ahead of her. I politely refused but couldn't help but equate my small kindness out in the parking lot and my being reimbursed in kindness from someone else.
So I left and drove up 83rd Avenue, intent on having a low carb, protein style "Double-Double" at In N Out Burger. By this time, at mid-day, it was already getting quite warm and the line through the drive-thru was quite long. I was fine with the wait...being retired provides acres of time to dawdle in fast food lines. But the lady behind me, in her little Kia compact, was not. As I looked at her in my rear view mirror she was looking at her watch, wiping her damp hair from her brow, and seemed to be the epitome of "working girl" trying to get her lunch and get back to her work place.
So, as I came up to the pay window, I handed the cashier my card and told her to pay for the lady behind me as well. And as I drove up to the pickup window I smiled to myself; I had just "kindness-bombed" someone who had felt hurried and harassed, and I was feeling pure delight that I had surreptitiously given her a small respite from her harried day.
Wish I could say that I'm always that kind. I'm not. But I'm smart enough to know that being kind is more for me that it is for the person the kindness is extended to. Don't knock it till you've tried it...it makes you feel pretty damn good!

Friday, June 26, 2015

History Revised


Maybe the Confederate protestors have it right. They want to ban the Confederate flag, level the statues of Robert E. Lee, and just this morning, fresh complaints came in demanding all southern heritage symbols be wiped from the American landscape.
So, perhaps we ought to burn those cabins at Valley Forge, the ones that patriots used to endure the first hard winter during the War of Independence. And let's raze the Paul Revere Memorial, and certainly the Washington Memorial...those people were all rebels, fighting against the Mother Country. And the Jefferson Memorial has to go cause he owned slaves, and we've simply got to insist those old dead men comply with social mores of today. 
And take down that statue of Teddy Roosevelt charging up San Juan Hill. He was anti-illegal immigrant. Never mind that he busted the monopolies, created the first clean food laws, banned child labor and created the first fair labor laws. The guy's a racist.
And for God's sake, let's tear down those god-awful War War II memorials, and the Iwojima Memorials....what in the world were we doing fighting on foreign soil...after all Japan and the Axis powers only killed 50 million people!
Let's get rid of all the historic memorials. Let's put in their place rings of flag poles. And let's hoist the Mexican flag to honor illegal Mexicans and the LGBT flag to honor the two percent who are gay. Let's hoist the flags of two dozen or more African nations to honor the only group of people who refuse to declare themselves "American". Let's rid our history books of the nation's founders...because they only promised the "pursuit" of happiness....and didn't guarantee happiness and a government check...which is certainly our due.
We can do this people! We've already proven we can wipe out any public display of Christianity. We've proven we can squash any Christian who wishes to abide by his religious beliefs. And we've proven we can obliterate anything that seems offensive to anyone about anything. 
We've proven that if we get a few thousand people to walk around carrying protest signs our politicians will fall to their knees and submit to anyone who throws a tantrum. And it doesn't have to be anything big! Let's rejoice at $15 dollar an hour fast food protests. Let's look on with crocodile tears as Black urban thugs burn their neighborhoods...surely they have good cause to do that. Let's join Occupy marches to the homes of the rich and defecate on their front lawn! They have no business being rich. 
Yes, people, let's melt down all those statues and, fuck plowshares...let's turn em into free cell phones for the masses. Let's burn our history books and print new ones...about wealth redistribution, and the glory of taxation, of the grandness of the nanny state. 
By getting rid of our history, by destroying all those war memorials, it will be so much easier for our bankers/Chinese overlords to transition us to a communist nation that you're just gonna love.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

The "Kiss Black Ass" Era


Last month a group of Black college students down in Georgia stomped on the American flag. Not one politician from either party; not Barry, not Hillary, or Bill, or Pelosi condemned the action. Stomping on the American flag is just fine...good old American liberal tradition. And the Republicans, while not liking it, kept their cowardly mouths shut as well, lest they be labelled "racist". 

And yet one brain dead idiot shoots up a church and poses with the Confederate flag and thousands of libtards march and demand it be taken down from the flag pole and it's likeness banned..on license plates and other things. Money Changer Walmart announced this morning that they'll be pulling anything out of their stores that has the Confederate flag on it. 

Know why the stores and the politicians are saying "take it down?" Cause this is the "Kiss Black Ass" era. They riot in Ferguson and it's our fault. They burn down their neighborhoods in Baltimore and it's our fault. In this new world there are no bad Black Urban Thugs...only misdirected youth. Our universities want our "old white men" founders banished from the history books, or at least demonized. 

We are awash in ignorance and class hatred and economic social class warfare. And you know why? Because YOU won't speak out about it! You think those cowardly politicians are stupid? They know you'll eat all this crazy shit and like it! Let me see how many just in my little blog circle have the nerve to share this!

Monday, June 22, 2015

Political Whoring


In 2003 the U.S. Congress was given the same intelligence brief on Iraq's Sadaam Hussein that George Bush was given.  Intelligence agencies believed that Sadaam possessed weapons of mass destruction.  Those reports were used to justify the invasion of Iraq.  Democrats and Republicans were all for the war, including John Kerry and Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton.  Then, as the political winds began to change, as Americans wearied of war and combat losses and war spending, Hillary and Kerry and the Dems began to back away...even claim they were never for the war..and blamed the whole mess on Bush.  That's called "political whoring"...not having the fortitude and courage to stand by your political and moral decisions.

A decade ago Harry Reid was the most virulent anti-illegal immigration advocate one could find in the Congress.  He often stood up and railed against it on the Senate floor.  Ten years later old Harry was trumpeting amnesty in order to win Hispanic votes.  That's "political whoring."

And, as you might remember, just seven years ago both Hillary and Obama were against amnesty for illegal Mexicans.  They were equally opposed to gay marriage.  And, somehow, just seven years later they are champions of gay marriage and open borders.  That too is "political whoring".

Political whoring is simply adjusting your moral code according to which way the winds are blowing.  Alas, we are now governed by "pygmy people"....so small and weak in mind, so easily caving in to the latest social trend that we now seemed to be governed based on whatever's hot on Facebook and Twitter....there are no longer any moral imperatives.  My lord!  Whether you agreed with George W. Bush or not, at least the guy stuck to his guns!

Contrast that with some of our former leaders...before the leadership DNA pool got so watered down with the likes of the Clintons and Obama.

Where would we be today had George Washington decided to resign from the Continental Army when half of the Continental Congress was calling for his head for his earlier defeats?  Where would we be had those army of patriots, having not been paid for years, just decided to give it all up and go home?  

Where would our union be, and where would the Blacks be had Lincoln stopped playing "Russian Roulette" with a bunch of bad generals before he found the right one in Grant?

As much as I dislike Franklin Roosevelt's social programs, where would America have been had FDR not subtly and gradually prepared America for World War II?

How many are old enough, or have studied recent history enough, to remember when Ronald Reagan took office?  Carter had crippled our military, Iran was holding American hostages, Carter was strong-arming Israel and kissing Muslim ass, and the Russians were sounding the war drums.  Reagan promised he'd be dispatching American bombers to level Iran within 20 minutes of being inaugurated and Iran released our hostages in that first hour of Reagan's Presidency.  Reagan would later build back our military, threaten Russia with the Star Wars Anti Missile Program, win the cold war, and put in place policies that brought down the Berlin Wall, and the disintegration of the entire Soviet empire.

Closer to home, when Reagan took office home mortgage rates were 20 percent.  The U.S. Prime rate was 16 percent.  Inflation was raging at 15% a year, fueled by American labor unions who threatened strikes each year and won annual double digit wage gains.  Reagan hired Paul Volker to wage the war on inflation which rung out double digit inflation that had wiped out the buying power of retirees and left them eating dog food to survive.  By the time Reagan left office inflation was 4% a year.  More importantly, Reagan implemented business tax cuts that spawned the birth of Walmart, and Apple and Sun Microsystems and Microsoft and a thousand other businesses that would bring massive prosperity in the 90's.  Reagan achieved all this despite many Americans calling for his head in the second year of his Presidency.  But Reagan stuck to his guns and by the end of his first term Reagan had the support of Republicans and fully half of all Democrats.  His massive 49 state victory over Walter Mondale was solid proof that sticking to your guns....sticking to your moral beliefs is the right thing to do.

Do you see that kind of moral and political courage today?  Nope, all we have are "political whores" who'll bend with the social and political winds popular at the moment....no matter the cost to our country.

A final note:  In February 1861, as Southern Secessionism blossomed, Washington knew they'd need a great military leader to fight for the Union cause.  They sent for their best...a fella named Robert E. Lee.  Lee was stationed down in Texas when the dispatch came.  No specifics were given, but Lee, knowing the Southern war drums were sounding, speculated on Washington's intentions for him.  And, while he adamantly opposed dissolution of the Union, he vowed never to wage war against his native Virginia.  When Lee was called in and offered the leadership of the Union army he turned it down and submitted his resignation, giving up a chance for supreme power and fame.

Can you imagine the political whores of today making such a sacrifice?  Didn't think so.

Sad.  Damned Sad.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Happy Father's Day


Father's Day always generates such a maelstrom of emotions for me.  Because I never really had a father at home, I chose my Uncle Floyd and Uncle Bill and Uncle Paul as surrogate fathers.  They had no choice; they didn't pick me...I picked them.

And they all served well in that surrogate role.  My Uncle Floyd was one of the most honest men I have ever known.  You always knew how you stood with him; if he liked you, you knew it, if he didn't, well you knew that too.   I was particularly proud that he loved me.  That love was better than any fruit salad I carried on my military tunic.   To earn his love and admiration was one of my finest achievements.   He was hard-working and tough and yet generous with his heart.  He's been gone now for many years...yet I love and remember him nearly every day of my life.

None of my Uncles were alike.   They were the joy of "fruit salad"...marshmallows and cherries and bananas, all different, but oh so sweet to the tongue.  My Uncle Paul was a little younger than Floyd and Bill..younger in spirit as well.  From him I learned the spirit of adventure.  He was a long haul trucker, and on those rare occasions when he was making a run in-state, he would pull his truck in down the street from my house, and walk down to our house, hug my mom, razz the kids, then sweep me up and haul me off to Richmond, or Sacramento, thus satisfying the wanderlust of a teenage kid that longed to roam.  Our last ride together was while I was home on leave from the military.  As we rolled down the road I was delighted that Uncle Paul paid me the respect of recognizing my new found maturity.  We were now equals, fellow travelers on the road of life, our days adorned with joyous recountings of family lore and proclamations of our love for every talent or quirk of those we were proud to call "family".   Blessedly, Uncle Paul is still with us, not at all well, but still rich in spirit and a love for life.

If my Uncle Bill was of the animal species he would have been a Panda Bear.  He was gentle and loving and lived to laugh.  And he wore his heart on his sleeve.  A father of all girls, he never had a son, and when I picked him, he willingly took up the challenge of steering a young boy in the right direction....not so much in words...he wouldn't know how to lecture or preach...but in how he treated others.  He could sometimes be gruff when his girls did something crazy, but he was so gentle that his girls knew how to wrap him around their fingers and it would be left to mom to lay down the law.  I guess I learned from my Uncle Bill how to love women; he loved his wife and his sisters and his momma with a gentility that is rarely seen.  I was in Saudi Arabia when my mom called and told me that Uncle Bill had passed away.  I still remember that it took me a full minute to say anything to my mom on that long, sad and truncated telephone line that left me so stunned and empty.  After hanging up I sat down at my kitchen table and wrote a letter to my aunt, pouring out my grief, I guess, telling her everything that Bill had meant to me.  And even today, when I drive by somewhere and see an old man sitting out on his front porch basking in the glory of a morning, or when I see a fellow sitting by the lake shore, a fishing pole in his hands,  I think of my Uncle Bill.  Happy Father's Day  Uncle Billy.

These men were my blessings in the role of "son".  It is more complicated for me in the role of "father".  I've learned that the concept of "father" has evolved over the years...as it applies to me.  When you are a young father you feel invincible.  You are the "protector", the head of the family, the "provider".  You have little time for contemplation during those "growing up years"...a growing up for your children as well as yourself.   But after your children have gone off; to begin their own lives, to marry and have families of their own, you have more time to ponder about how well you did.  You sit around and contemplate about every failure, every mistake, and every time that you might have failed as a father.  And if you are wise, you use those moments of grading yourself, to evolve...to be a better man that your children might admire and learn from.  

And, it seems each year of growing older, as your body breaks down just a bit, you become grateful for each offering of kindness and tenderness extended you by your children.  You delight in the phone call, the intimate sharing of what's happening in their lives, their own frustrations and delights in their own role as "parent".  And when you are together again, that first rich, delicious hug that quenches your thirst after the barrenness of time and distance that have kept you apart.  And I still long for the lost son; the fine, strong man who would have held me by the elbow in my old age, and helped me up a flight of stairs, or who might drive me up into the mountains, to sit by a cool mountain stream, so that I might equate that cool running current and contemplate the currents of my own life.  Instead, the lost son is frozen in memory,  forever 27 years old.  And the only comfort I can find in his passing is that he's up there, patiently waiting at a heavenly bus stop, waiting for me to debark and once again delight in his warm embrace.

So, Father's Day is like a two lens opticon.  Look through one end and you see "giants"...men who you owe a debt of gratitude..for steering you in the right direction, for offering you the gift of love.  Look through the other end and you're there in startling closeup; examining every success and failure and hoping like hell that the two balance out.  Happy Father's Day to every father who's trying his best to deserve the honor of being called "father".  

Friday, June 19, 2015

Penis Envy, Air Conditioners and Sewer Lines


It's been said that men who lust after muscle cars are simply trying to compensate for undersized penises.  While I'm sure that's largely untrue, as with so many other things, there's always an element of truth when we choose to dig a little deeper.  I've seen some pretty mousy little guys pull up in the parking lot of a shopping center in a big old pickup with tires taller than they.  I'm sure at least some of them are employing the outward displays of motorized machismo to compensate for an undersized weenie.

Thankfully, even in my youth, I never gauged my masculinity by what I drove....(though I did once own an underpowered 56 Chevy with mag wheels that looked hot and invited challenges to race at stoplights on Blackstone Avenue, the main drag up in Fresno, California...alas my Chevy 6 cylinder with an undersized 235 engine was not up to it.)

But we outgrow the "hot rod" stage of our earlier lives and settle into the more mundane routines of work, family and the pursuit of happiness, don't we?  Yes we do.  But I have found that, as we grow older, we are not much wiser than those days when we lusted after a 327 V8 engine under the hood.  We simply replace the objects of "bragging rights" with something else.

To wit, in my old age dotage I've found myself competing with the neighboring fellas right here in Sun City...hot as Hades in the summer, for bragging rights on how long our Air Conditioners have held up under the onslaught of savage summers.

I found myself dragged into the AC bragging rights shortly after I moved in.  After I got to know neighbor Don and neighbor Dave we would sit out on the front stoop of Don's house, quaff a beer, swap a few war stories and so forth.  One evening, when we had exhausted manly things to talk about, Don proclaimed to have the most reliable Air Conditioner on the block.  He said he could abuse the hell out of the son of a bitch and it just kept pouring cool air to offset those 115 degree summer temps.  Don said he changed filters when he damn well felt like it, about as often as he went in for a prostate probe.  That got Dave fired up and he said "well shit, it's been five years since an AC man came out and did a damn thing to mine!"  Being the new kid on the block, I didn't have much to contribute to the conversation so I wisely kept quiet.

But the next morning I took a look at my aging Goetl AC unit and noted that it looked really ancient. So I grabbed a ladder and went out and took the plate off the AC unit, wrote down the model number, and went in and ran the specs on line.  Found out my AC was built in 1988 and was already 17 years old and still "truckin".  

So the next time we gathered for a beer, I looked over at Dave and asked him how old his Carrier unit was.  He told me it was six years old.  I smiled, then walked out into the driveway of Don's house and looked up at his roof mounted unit and asked him how old his was.  Don said he'd had his installed four years ago.  I smiled again, went back and plopped down into my lawn chair, took a sip of my now warm brew, and proclaimed my old '88 Goetl was old enough to be their AC unit's grandfather! That shut up old Don and Dave and I never heard another brag about their central AC's!

But, as men must when they gather into enclaves, the subject of sewer line longevity came up.  That's a hot topic in our senior community because the sewer lines were first installed back when Eisenhower was President and the aging sewer lines were beginning to fail, having reached the peak of their life cycle.  It was not at all unusual to see big old open trenches out in the front yard of our neighborhood as one after another sewer line bit the dust and had to be replaced.  

As usual "blowhard Don" started it.  "Did you see where Ogden's yard's all torn up?  His sewer line blew Sunday night just about the time his wife was taking her Sunday night dump....Ogden said his wife bout had a heart attack when the back flow hit her in the ass at her most vulnerable moment!
After we all had a good chuckle, Don said "my sewer line is just fine...and believe you me I ain't ever slighted myself with a good old gob of toilet paper when it's most needed!"  Dave then chirped in and set he and his wife use wet wipes and if that doesn't tax the system he didn't know what did and his sewer line was just fine.  I didn't say a thing to either of them as I was still basking in the glow of having the longest running AC unit around.

Alas, the following year both Don and Dave had the plumbing crews out...digging big old long trenches leading from the house to the city sewer lines. Both were shelling out $5 grand apiece to have their sewer lines replaced.  I didn't have the heart to rub it in at our "beer meets" but I have to confess I did stand at my living room window and look out there at those open trenches with a big smile on my face.

Many years have passed since.  Don moved up to Prescott and, sadly, Dave has passed on to his reward.  I still have my '58 sewer line and my '88 Goetl AC unit...now 27 years old.  I thought of Don and Dave on Monday when my old Goetl failed me for the first time on a 112 degree day here.  So I "Yelped" for the highest rated repair company and they came out and replaced a capacitor and fired up my old Goetl and got her running again.  

But, I suspect the other old codgers were looking on when the AC repair truck pulled into my place.  No doubt, somewhere down the block there's another enclave of old codgers seeking "bragging rights" on their home AC or their most ancient but reliable sewer lines.

I guess men, both young and old, have to have something totally silly to brag about.  And yes, my sewer line is still working fine...thank you.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

"Going Native"


I've become positively inspired by celebrities these days who have chosen to be something they weren't before...like the honky lady up in Seattle who went all "fro" and transported herself to "Black". And why not? Blacks have it great these days! They win free education Pell grants, are hired first under minority hiring preference...hell, even urban Black thugs are saluted as heroes these days! But, since I can't go "fro" cause I got no hair left, I think I'm going to fall back on my 12.5 percent of Cherokee bloodlines. Why not? Elizabeth Warren had less than 1% and she won a professorship that paid her $250,000 dollars for just showing up! 

But I'm gonna travel a different road than ole Liz. I'm going to declare myself a "tribe of one" and have my quarter acre here at 10444 West Snead Drive set aside as a "reservation." Then I'm going to open up a gambling casino in my living room. I'll install a few Wheel of Fortune slot machines and a Blackjack table and rope in all the seniors who are now having to ride a bus for an hour to get out to Harrah's or the other casinos on the East Side. I'll hire a cocktail waitress and outfit her in a low cut dress, showing lots of cleavage, and have her ferry beer and watery drinks to the clientele, even as I am picking them clean. 

And after I've made enough money from my Indian casino I'm gonna go find the best plastic surgeon in Phoenix and go all "Bruce Jenner" on ya and get myself a set of boobs...not because I want to change my sex....I just have always really loved boobs and it would be nice to have a couple of my very own to play with.

Monday, June 15, 2015

"When I'm King For A Month"


The biggest tragedy when one looks at our national problems is that the "fix" is so damn easy...so simple. Let me present an example: 

When I get to be king of the U.S. I'm gonna send all our nation's liberals to re-education camps. I'm gonna force them to read the Constitution, memorize the Bill of Rights, then I'm going to make them study the history of Johnson's War On Poverty programs, and force them to weigh any benefits against the costs in both national treasure and crime and the breakdown of the American family. 

I'm going to force them to read the actual stats on which ethnic group opts for abortion...and coming in with the alarming stat that 75% of all abortions are performed on American Blacks. I'm gonna make them recite the Health and Human Services's own numbers that show Blacks, while 12% of the populace, command 43% of every welfare dollar. 

Then I'm going to make those liberals do internships on the following career occupations: 1) Night shift at a 7-11 or Circle K convenience store, 2) night shift as a cab driver in Detroit, Baltimore, Los Angeles, Atlanta, New York City, and Philadelphia. And then 3) I'm gonna make them do six months of "ride-a-longs" with urban police patrols. Finally, I'm going to force them into teaching school in those urban jungles to see how THEY like it!

By the time I'm done we'll have a lot fewer liberals...we'll have stopped throwing money at problems and begin forcing people to stand on their own two feet...or starve to death. We'll stop coddling criminals.

I'm gonna put 10,000 American troops on our southern border with orders to shoot to kill anyone who illegally crosses. I figure we'll solve our illegal immigration problem in about three days.
and I'll then resign my "Kingship" and head home to a life of serenity. 

You're welcome.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Barry Just Sent You The Bill...Again


Barack Hussein Obama is very good and granting amnesty.  Both he and Hillary want to legalize 30 million illegal Mexican invaders (he's already given 5 million by decree).  And Barry and Holder said there's just too damn many Black prison lifers so they released tens of thousands of those last year.   Now Emperor Obama has amnestied student loan debt for 4.5 million liberal dunces who were shocked when their gender studies and philosophy degrees didn't win them a job.

So, yes, Barry's getting ready to send the taxpayer still another bill.  With big government it's alway "round up the usual suspects".  No one pays the price for billions of student loan debt and Hillary and Barry and Elizabeth Warren want taxpayers to ante up and pay off the entire trillion dollars in outstanding student loan debt.  

Keep in mind that it was Barry who took the student loan program from the banks...and my, aren't they doing a wonderful job in managing it!  

But let's delve into the current loan forgiveness issue.  The Department of Education, who is responsible for both the student loan program AND accrediting educational institutions to be eligible for student loan programs.  Guess what?  They's done a lousy job doing either...and we are once again going to be ask to pay for their mistakes.  

The big culprit of late has been one of those commercial "for profit" colleges called Corinthian College.  Corinthian would enroll those gender studies majors and art appreciation studies, and rake in big fat tuition fees.  And they claimed that there job placement rates were astronomic.  Unfortunately, none of that was true and the Department of Education didn't blink an eye for seven years as Corinthian harvested the loot from total idiots.

And let's not leave out the students themselves for a little culpability.  Barry is forgiving student loan debts in amounts from $20,000 to $150,000!  This entitlement generation rented nice apartments, bought automobiles and iPads and iPhones and enjoyed pizzas and beer five days a week...hey, it's free money right?  Having to pay it back is way in the future so..what the hey!  (And Barry even promised them if they'd vote for him he just might decree the whole damn trillion in student debt null and void!  

So, as we see, there are three devils here; Barry and company, Corinthian College and the students themselves!  So who's being punished?  Have the executives at Corinthian College going to prison for falsifying job placement rates?  Are those Gender Studies weenies going to be asked to pay up?  Is Barry going to redirect his royalties from his fictional biographies to pay for this debt?

Nope....it's you suckers!  Barry's sending you the big fat tab!

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Bruce Just Saw Too Much Boobs and Ass


Call me a neanderthal if you wish, but I'm beginning to think we're in the death throes of national insanity these days. What better proof than how we view the police as villains and urban thugs as heroes. 

And, absent that, let's look at how we have taken a troubled soul like Bruce (Caitlin) Jenner and put him high on a pedestal and labelled him "hero" for injecting himself with female hormones, growing hair and boobs, and re-naming himself. And our headlines are overwhelmed by gibbering ninnies declaring their homosexuality, as if any sane, rational person would be interested in his/her sex life. Those headlines drown out a reading of what our real problems are; most folks can't tell you where Syria is on a map but can tell you who turned queer this week. 

Back to Bruce; I don't think Bruce turned "woman" through internal orientation. I believe 20 years of hanging around big butt, big boob, self indulgent women did him in. Bruce took one long look at how much money Kim Kardashian's ass was raking in and decided he want to go "big ass, big boob himself! Hanging around all those "K's" for two decades drove him "kooky."

Okay, call me neanderthal; I've seen enough sympathetic and admiring posts on the internet message boards to know Bruce is being deemed a hero. Me...not so much.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Welcome To The Health Care Showroom


Good morning ladies and gents.  Welcome to the Healthcare Showroom!  We've got three models we'd like to show you so grab a cup of free coffee there and come along with me.


Now you look like a well educated, hard working person!  So, here's the deal.  To score this beautiful 2015 Cadillac all you need to do is kick in 6% of your gross earnings for the next 50 years.  At a a modest salary of $40,000 a year you will have paid in about $125,000 dollars.   Now we take that $125,000 and we give you compound interest at the average 30 year Federal Bond yields of 7 percent, and at the end of that 50 year period you will have accrued nearly $500,000 dollars into a Medical Savings Plan.  That, my dear fellow has earned you the Cadillac Health Plan that President Barry always talks about.  Under our Cadillac Health Savings Plan you can purchase an annual medical premium for $20,000 per year.  This model is a doozy!  You choose any doctor your want.  You pay no deductibles and you get free dental and medical and optical...and, hell, you can even get a few nip and tucks with your favorite plastic surgeon if that suits you!  And that $500,000 that you accrued over a lifetime of work has got you paid up till age 90, well past your average life span!  Pretty sweet, huh?

Or maybe you'd be interested in the U.S. government's model.  Uncle Sam calls it "Medicare".


With Medicare you pay in that same 6% of gross earnings...but you don't get paid interest on your $125,000 in contributions (that interest stays with the government!)  And at 65, after you've paid in for 50 years, the government will give you a lovely little subcompact.  Yeah, you get to go to a doctor the government tells you to go to..but what the hell, huh?  Oh, I forget...you also have to keep paying a Medicare premium even after that $125,000 grand you kicked in. (Sorry)  And you might have to kick in a few thousand more for any medications you might need.  But, hey, who needs that big luxurious Cadillac anyway, right?

 You say you're not too crazy about Uncle Sam's "Medicare" model?  Well, have I got a deal for you!
It's the "Mercedes Medicaid Plan!"


Now the beauty of this baby is that you don't need to work at all!  You don't need to study hard and get an education, and because you don't work...you pay nothing for the Mercedes Medicaid Plan!  Beautiful, huh?  Even better; you don't have to wait until you're 65 to drive this beauty!  Just make sure you stay out of an employment office and you're good to go!  Free medical, dental, and, baby, not even a co-pay!  And the deal gets sweeter!  Not only are you enjoying the Mercedes Medicaid model but Uncle Sam will kick in such luxury options as a welfare check, food stamps, a free housing voucher, free school breakfast and lunch for your kids, and even reduced price tuition if any of them get past high school!  Sweet, huh?  Can I put you behind the wheel if this sweet model this morning?

Friday, June 5, 2015

"Dress Right, Dress!"


"Dress right, dress!"

That's an order on the drill field for military grunts. It means, while standing in formation, turning your head to the right, look down the line, and align yourself up so the line is straight. That motto ought to be the program title for some wonderful women are doing here in Phoenix. 

Thursday, June 4, 2015

The Woeful TSA


You've all probably read the news yesterday.  About TSA's 95% failure rates to detect hostile security threats.  The government reacted by firing the TSA Chief, which was probably the right thing to do.  But the problem with TSA is in it's founding.  Back in November 2001, just weeks after 9/11, Congress and Bush decided they needed to create a whole new government bureaucracy to deal with the terrorism threat.  So TSA was established.  

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

"NAFTA Redux"


Sadly, the news this morning reported that the Senate plans to approve the Trans Pacific Partnership this week. That's the new trade pact with Asian nations that will result in surrendering more American jobs and bring us more Chinese dog food $3 dollar shirts. 
Since the North American Free Trade Agreement was passed over 20 years ago during the Clinton Presidency the U.S. has lost over 5 million jobs. Our rapidly dwindling manufacturing base will suffer even more. The problems with these trade agreements is that it's like a little league team playing the New York Yankees...we never start..or end with a level playing field. Oh sure, these trade agreements all sound so pretty; "promotes commerce". "opens up new markets for American goods", "assures fair play". 

Alas, none of those things are true. I challenge any of you to find one instance where the United States was successful in enforcing our previous trade pacts. Even when a small American manufacturing firm makes a better product, even when they manage to keep costs down and their product price competitive, those Asian nations will take steps to make sure it fails to sell in their country. They'll install import controls, hike import fees, and, in China's case, choose to manipulate their currency..keeping the value artificially low, in order to kill foreign competitors. And that's before they ever employ prison labor and ignore international environmental laws and pollute the skies and send millions of gallons of toxins out to sea.

And do we really need to give American corporations another break? They already have $2 trillion non taxable dollars stashed overseas! They already export our jobs to countries where labor costs are lower. The TPP will merely accelerate that process.

We can do far better without the TPP deal. We can lower the corporate tax rate and bring that $2 trillion home....to be invested here and create jobs. We can quit subsidizing "gender studies" college degrees and promote education that qualifies our graduates to fill jobs actually needed. And we can put a leash on OSHA and the EPA and stop them from being job killers.
And we can begin enforcing NAFTA and the WTO and tell our trade partners that we won't tolerate cheating. 
And we can stop mortgaging our future by getting our debt under control. Japan and China hold a big hunk of our bond debt and it is getting harder and harder to tell "our bankers" they are not playing fair.

Liberal icon Elizabeth Warren and I have exactly one thing in common: we both agree that the TPP is a bad deal. We don't enforce the trade agreements we already have. What makes anyone think we'll do any better with this one?

Monday, June 1, 2015



I haven't confirmed this yet but, if true, it's going to piss off a hell of a lot of those "occupier" types demanding $15 bucks an hour. Personally, I'd put more trust in a robot preparing my food than the folks I've seen working at fast food joints. 

(PHOENIX) After seeing a decline in earnings for the first time in nine years, McDonald’s plans to do something no other store of its kind has ever done before; open a store run entirely by robots.
The store is set to open July 4th in Phoenix, Arizona once the state-of-the-art robot remodel is complete. The restaurant will still employ a small team to insure all of the robots are working correctly, the food along with the cleaning supplies remaining stocked and removing the money collected by the robots. If the test launch for the store is a success, visitors to the restaurant can soon expect to see these new robots working in harmony at a speed of 50 times faster than the average human employee, with no chance of error, located in every store all over the country.
The store’s new manager, Jay Funkhouser, told CNN that he has worked with the machines in a product development facility in San Francisco for over six months now and speaks highly of the robots.
“These things are great! They get their work done in a fast and orderly manner. And they don’t ask for cigarette breaks.”
42-year-old Milton Waddams, an unemployed fast food worker, told reporters he is extremely disappointed by the decision to employ only robots instead of humans.
“This McDonald’s had my resume, I already completed two job interviews there and was scheduled to start working once the new store opened in July,” Waddams said. “I need a job, I need money. Then I hear of this new robot McDonald’s instead of a regular human one and my dreams are completely shattered. I don’t know what I’m going to do. My mom wants me out of the house at the end of the month, so now I’m going to have to find another place to crash I guess. Fuc*king McDonald’s. I could set the building on fire.”
With this decision, shareholders can finally expect to see their stocks on the rise once again since employee salaries are not only cut, but eliminated. By cutting employees, McDonald’s says it is projecting to make a full financial turnaround and see their stock (MCD) return to $105/share which was originally set back in 2014. In the U.S., first quarter comparable sales decreased 2.6% as product and promotional offers did not meet expectations. U.S. operating income for the quarter declined 11%, reflecting weak sales and the impact of restructuring and restaurant closing charges.
Local Phoenix resident, 52-year-old Tom Downey, who has been unemployed for the last 3 years, was excited about the opening of a nearby McDonald’s.
“Now that they hire only robots, I don’t know what I can even do. I don’t have an education, a car, and now I’m not gonna even be able to get a burger job. Maybe I can learn to pick up trash on the freeway.”
McDonald’s has been playing with the idea of a restaurant run entirely by robots for years. The high margins of human error, cost of employment, and poor hygiene, as well as the recent advancements in artificial intelligence just make sense to automate fast food. In what McDonald’s has been referring to the robots as the “McRobots”, they believe this will be the answer to fix all of those problems.
Former grill cook, David Hatala, from the original Phoenix McDonald’s location before it was shutdown for robot repairs and upgrades, is still mad about losing his job.
“So a stupid robot is gonna make food and take orders? That’s just not right,” Hatala told FOX News. “The American people are smart and won’t stand for this inequality upon us humans and definitely won’t support it. If anyone should know this, it’s me. I’m a people person, how many times do I have to say this? I deal with the damn customer so they don’t have to make their own burgers. I have skills people!”
36-year-old Paul Horner, a spokesman for McDonald’s said he is excited to pave the way to a more automated workforce, hence a more reliable and affordable one.
“Robots are the future of McDonald’s in the United States and around the world,” Horner said, “Human workers want more pay and this has created giant protests which need our attention now before it is too late. Robots will decrease prices, increase productivity and make for better food.”
It is still unclear at this time what the robots look like or how customers will complete transactions as this information is being kept under strict confidentiality, but come July these questions will be answers. Will it be the right or wrong decision for McDonald’s? In the end, it will come down to what is best for the shareholders and the customers. The workers, not so much.