Friday, May 29, 2015

An Open Letter To The State of California


Dear California,

Please stop sending people from your state over to Arizona.  We don't want them here.  We're doing just fine without you.  We don't want you coming over here and writing letters about how we are all conservative neanderthals, as you gripe about our balanced state budgets which doesn't dole out luxury benefits to welfare queens, and desert xeriscaped yards to conserve water, or how California government is kinder to welfare queens and illegal Mexicans.  We don't want you complaining about how much we spend per school pupil; our kids are as dumb as yours...and for a lot less money.  And, god, how you complain about our charter schools and how sorry you feel for the public schools and the teacher's unions.  Our charter school system alone ought to scare you away; we lead the nation in giving parents a choice as to where to send their kids.  We even own the only state tax deduction that allows taxpayers to fund charter schools! 

And we don't want you over here lobbying for a year round state legislature.  Unlike your government masters in California, who live off the citizen's dime year around and get paid $150,000 a year, plus per diem and car allowance, our legislators meet for three months a year and are paid $24,000 a year....then they go home to their "real" jobs just like the rest of the working class do.

And we like it that we spend ten bucks less for a tank of gas that you do...and our water and air are a damn site cleaner than yours.  And, speaking of water, we are the only state in the nation that uses less water and electricity than we did ten years ago, despite an increase in population!  We don't pretend that we don't live in a desert and we've had "time of use" electricity rates for a decade so don't think you're so damn smart over there.

And while we have problems with illegal Mexicans, it's not as bad as over there where your illegal Mexican militants dare to demand instant citizenship and the right to vote.  And we don't lay out the welcome mat for them.   Thanks to Obama they may be here but they know damn well we don't like it.

And please don't think you have a corner on vegetable and fruit growing.  You Californians have eaten alot of our Yuma lettuce and desert dates and tomatoes and onions.  And our flower fields have stocked some of your florist shops.  We even have a thriving wine it's infancy, but winning good reviews at wine tastings.

California, while you have a congested and overrun Lake Tahoe, we have lovely snow packed peaks and pine forests in serene and beautiful Flagstaff.  We have symphony orchestras and stage theaters that host some of the finest and renown stage plays, and concert halls bedecked with all the latest musical stars, and space exhibitions, and museums, and the diversity of restaurants is such that one can dine on just about any ethic dish in the world right here in Phoenix.

And we have beautiful new 2,000 plus square feet homes that can be bought for an average $150,000 dollars.  And the property taxes on those homes are half what you Californians pay!  And we can defend those homes with our personal firearms...and are not "allowed" but are expected to!   And we pay only a third that you do to register our cars!

But, mostly California, we have freedom from government tyranny.  Our legislators continue to try and find ways to lower our taxes, to pass laws that enhance our freedoms, to protect us from excessive federal government overreach!  

So, we don't need you, or your people coming over here and telling us how we ought to live.  We enjoy the life we have.  So please stay home!


Frank K said...

Good luck. This article may inspire a whole lot of people to move to your wonderful state. I'd a kept it a secret if I were you. :)

A Modest Scribler said...

Frank, my reading audience would be more than welcome to move here. Not worried.

TheRandyGuy said...

4 years left in the failed state of CA. The short list for us is AZ, ID, NV, and MT. Needless to say, we WILL be leaving. Great letter, BTW.

A Modest Scribler said...

Randy, if weather were not a factor my choices would be Montana, Idaho, Arizona, but never Nevada...that state is overrun with illegal Mexicans and has turned Blue in less than a decade.

Brian Kalifornia said...

I was hoping enough of "those" people would California so i don't have to move when I retire. But it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I can dream. Sorry a lot of our garbage is moving to your "free" state.

A Modest Scribler said...

Yep, Brian. We've definitely got some. The Dems here are speculating that, if they can get enough liberal Californians to abandon the soiled diaper they made in California, they can come here and begin liberalizing Arizona. So far, we've resisted. Our legislature is rock solid Republican control.