Tuesday, June 12, 2012

"Plastic People, Plastic Lives"

In the 1965 movie "The Graduate" a family friend pulls new college grad Dustin Hoffman over at a pool party for a little "tet a tet" on career advice.   "One word, Benjamin", he coos "Plastics".  How right he was.

Our world is now drowning in plastic.  From garden rakes to "personal vibrators" America has embraced plastic.  In one form or another plastic is the real fabric of our lives.  It encases our cell phones and tablets, it forms the housing for our kitchen appliances, it encircles us as we drive our automobile down the road and it even serves as packaging for all our modern toys.

Remember those wonderful glass soda and milk bottles that somehow made the contents infinitely more tasty?  Nearly gone.  Now we have plastic bottles and settle for the inferior taste of our drinks because plastic is more profitable for manufacturers of these goods.  And when we're ready to discard the refuse this plastic is carried away to a landfill where it has a 1,000 year after life.  In various areas in the vast Pacific we now have floating landfills, thousands of acres of floating refuse.

As with most of our nation's problems the liberal ecological nazi's tend to attack the problem at its least impactful point.  California has now banned plastic shopping bags.  They launch their ecological wars against plastic shopping bags using plastic IPADs and Droid phones, delivered to them in hard plastic packaging.  Beyond silly.

One, if he or she so chooses, can live exclusively in a world of plastic.  Our manufacturing "masters" can deliver to us plastic furniture, plastic baseball bats, plastic dinnerware and plastic windows.

Over the weekend my local cable provider opened up the pay cable channels in an effort to tease us into subscribing.  As I was punching the remote and looking over all the movies I have failed to see in the last five or ten years I found one of those R (X?)- RATED channels that was showing "Housewives From Outer Space".  The movie exists solely for the purpose of showing lots of tits and ass.  Because I have long ago abandoned my desire for porn I was watching the "action" from a purely clinical standpoint.  What was fascinating to me was the plethora of "plastic tits" on display.  Virtually every one of these "actresses" were sporting plastic bags inserted into their chest wall.  I found this phenomenon highly unappealing and I just can't see why any male would either!  Each and every one of these young women also wore an ugly scar just beneath the lower breast fold.  Madness!

I suppose the next great leap in medical technology will be the implant of a huge plastic tube into men so that they can boast about a 12-inch penis.  Perhaps the Hormel company with its expertise in manufacturing foot-long frankfurters will jump into the "male enhancement" fray!

Then, our embracing of plastic will truly be complete!


No comments: