Monday, December 4, 2017

Booze and Popcorn


As a senior citizen I am naturally behind many of America's cultural advances.  So, imagine my surprise when I recently learned that alcoholic beverages are now served in over 600 of America's 5,800 movie theaters!  And more on the way, according to my local paper.

Well, I'm thinking "what a brilliant idea!"  Now we can enjoy even more irritations while trying to watch a movie.  Rowdy children, ringing cell phones, generally rude adults, and now drunks!  And who doesn't want to send their children to a theater where alcohol is being served!  What could possibly go wrong, right?

I imagine this pretty well cements my life-long refusal to ever enter a movie theater, ever again.  My last visit to one was in see Forrest Gump.  And on that visit, I was surprised to see the wealth of irritants present as I tried to watch a movie.  I vowed that day that I would wait for a DVD release, or an appearance on television.

Maybe the theater chains can have "happy hours" during intermission!  A good guzzler ought to easily down two mugs of beer, or a couple of rum and cokes in that span.  

But I do wonder if the local child molestors, who have been diligently curbing their appetite for groping crotches, might find their defenses down after a couple of beers.  And I wonder how many vomit puddles they'll have to clean up between viewings.

You would think the theater chains would be happy vending $10 dollar buckets of popcorn, or $2 dollar candy bars, but I guess not.  

The bar's open folks!  Drink up!  And, who knows,  if you get drunk enough, maybe you won't notice how bad movies are these days.



TheRandyGuy said...

You're not alone. Many movie theaters are in bankruptcy - not hard to understand why. The cost of movie tickets is absurdly high. If you decide you need to eat or drink, the rape continues. Add to that the proliferation of HD TV's and sound systems in people's homes and the question of "Why go to a movie?" is an easy one to answer. I go when I get free tickets, but not otherwise.

A Modest Scribler said...

Well said, Randy. And the crop of movies out in the last couple of decades hold no allure for me. I'd just as soon as wait for the select few viewable to show up on TV somewhere.