Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Planning A Cocktail Party? Consider Vodka Soaked Tampons

                                               
Okay.  I admit I am totally baffled about our current social "getting your kicks" culture.  Yes, I have heard of Ecstacy, the date rape drug.  I have read of kids now being able to reach under the kitchen sink and grab a few common household items and concoct a great new "get high" wonder drug.  Years before that I read of kids who sniffed airplane glue and paint fumes to get high. 

But I was absolutely floored this morning when I read of the new trend in how kids get their "highs".  It seems that the kids have figured out how to get drunk at school without having alcohol on your breath or having to wait for an hour or so to realize the nirvana of alcohol.

Our local CBS affiliate reports this mornng that teens are now using Vodka soaked tampons to get through the school day.  The trend started when some girl cranked up her innovative genes and thought of the idea of carrying a vodka soaked tampon to school, inserting it, and getting a nice alcoholic high within minutes.  The craze has now caught on and "vodka tampons" are all the rage.   It seems the vascular sensitivity in this area heightens the alcohol high and packs a real punch within minutes....and does so by avoiding the risk of having alcohol breath in class.

Not to be outdone the boys have caught on to this and are electing to insert vodka tampons into their rectums and are experiencing equally thrilling alcoholic highs at the good ole alma mater.

Alas, doctors and teachers are not happy about this.  Apparently, teachers will be merrily lecturing about The Great Society only to find a student collapsing at his desk in a drunken stupor.  Doctors are not so happy either as they are forced to deal with sickness and death from alcohol poisoning.

As I said, I'm totally lost with all of this.  Our "bad guys" in high school were toughs you'd find smoking a cigarette in the bathroom.  I guess my kids were facing marijuana.  Later came the paint and airplane glue sniffing which evolved into the home brews of Ajax and 409 or whatever.  And now we have Vodka soaked tampons. 

Who says today's kids aren't intelligent?  Maybe Proctor and Gamble will hire them and they can begin to market tampons in a variety of flavors; Rum Reams, Virgin Margaritas and Gyn-gin fizzes.

Sigh....

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh...my...God.....

this is frightening. i have a 12-year old daughter. thanks for posting this.

JustCommonSense said...

Scary, isn't it?

PammieJean said...

My kids are all adults now but I remember hearing something about two candies: pop rocks and fizzies. No, the kids weren't getting high on them but putting them in places where it didn't belong.

Do any of them think about infections?

The bad boys where called 'hoods' when I was in highschool. They were the ones who rode motorcycles or had beer parties at the lake. Don't remember what the girls were called.

JustCommonSense said...

Yes, I remember "hoods" PammieJean. We didn't have many on motorcycles. Didn't hear too much about beer either but we probably had some beer drinkers too.

Anonymous said...

I just could not imagine anyone trying to get drunk would use this avenue to do so. I am sure there are a handful of idiots out there that try anything, but had a feeling this was not one of the most popular things to do;even for stupid teens. First off, anyone with a vagina is going to know and understand that alcohol burns like a mofo. Just the mere thought of alchohol is going to create a pain vs a drunk pleasure. I also looked up on SNOPES.COM that verified my thoughts. FALSE and RUMOR... check it out. Anyway.. if anyone is worried about a young kid doing something like this, I am sure the temptation of trial will be easily killed once his/her vagina and rectum get burning sensation as opposed to drunken pleasure. Pick and choose the fears and rumors people...

A Modest Scribler said...

Anon, I usually trust snopes too, but here's where they got it wrong....there are any number of local stations who have interviewed medical responders and police who have indeed documented this crazy practice...here's just one link to ABC news that led me to write about this. there are dozens more on google.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/shocking-ways-kids-drunk/story?id=17281602#.UebjgRb6l0g