Good news, people! The NFL is starting up a new league, called the National Knee-Ball League (NKL).
Having been criticized of late for not taking a knee for domestic abuse, or Michael Vick's animal abuse, or the startling fact that 75 percent of Blacks are born to unwed mothers, who command 43 percent of every welfare dollar, and, in the past have failed to condemn their own players participating in late night bar brawls and gunfights, who have in the past never condemned Michael Jordan and Le Bron James for hawking $300 dollar a pair basketball shoes to the urban poor, are finally announcing they'll now take a stand against every injustice...including Urban Black crime.
Accordingly, all Knee-ball games will of course be played on their knees for the entire 60 minutes! Just try to imagine how that will go! Odell Beckham Junior will scurry two yards down the field and make a tremendous one-knee catch. Tom Brady will back-pedal two feet and send a two yard pass between the yard markers!
In this new NKL no one will be required to stand for the National Anthem, nor the presentation of the colors. However, images of Jay Z and three dead rappers will appear on the big screen and players will be able to raise one knee to pay their respects.
Roger Goodell readily admits that scoring in the new NKL will be more akin to soccer scores, he hopes the new league will catch on with fans.
Oh, by the way, Underarmour has agreed to be the official sponsor of the new NKL.