A Word Or Two On Breakfast

                                                             

1) First of all, let's get this out of the way right off....if eggs were bad for you I would have been dead ten years ago. I totally ignored those dire Surgeon General warnings of the 80's, have eaten my way through a chicken coop of eggs...and have better cholesterol readings than my "eggs twice a year" wife.

2) American business can design a device that will hold ten thousand songs...but can't make sausages square so you can cook them evenly on all side without having to play "roll a bug".

3) When I lived in Saudi Arabia we had two choices for butter; American brands and Ireland's Kerrygold, both priced the same. So I always got Kerrygold because it was only like a hundred times better tasting than the American stuff. Kerrygold is as addictive as cocaine. So, when I returned to the states, saw that Kerrygold sells over here for $6 bucks a pound, I had to go back to American butter. (Severe withdrawal symptoms)

                                                           

4) Since I was a kid I had watched those old MGM movies where the rich are sitting out on the patio of their mansion, drinking orange juice out of crystal, and having their breakfasts from silver tureens, and I always wanted to dine with those silver tureens. As it turned out I finally got the chance....except the "silver" was stainless steel vats and the "meal de jour" was shit on a shingle served from a 10 gallon vat.

5) Has anyone noticed that eggs have gotten smaller over time? What once we called "large" they now call "jumbo". And I've actually bought "large" eggs of late that look like quail eggs.

6) Most folks wouldn't know that I'm a master of efficiency when cooking breakfast. I can whip up a breakfast in five minutes or less, ten if you add a side of meat.

7) I have tried at least a hundred times to duplicate the light and fluffy hotcakes that you get at Denny's and Ihop...and can't...mine are always heavy. (no, don't send me any recipes...I've read them all)

8) If you haven't tried crumbled bacon over brown sugar and cinnamon oatmeal, with a dollop of sweet cream, you have no idea of what heaven will be like.

9) With the profit margins collected on a Denny's breakfast the Justice Department ought to arrest the franchisees and throw them in the clink for life. Death penalty for anyone who charges $3 bucks for a cup of coffee. Drawn and quartered if they charge for re-fills.