Friday, March 22, 2013

North Korea; The Mouse That Roared

In one of Peter Seller's earliest comedies he portrays a royal from a tiny European nation that declares war on the United States.  It seems the small duchy's only source of revenue is a pinot noir wine, and even that comes under duress as the U.S. produces a better, cheaper version.

So, the powers that be decide their only option is to declare war against America.  After all, after defeating Nazi Germany, America spent 15% of their entire GDP on the Marshal Plan which rebuilt Europe.  Japan enjoyed the same American post war generosity.  So, having studied America's benevolence toward those they defeat in war they feel certain by declaring war they'll enjoy the bounty associated with losing a war with America.

For the last half century North Korea has seemed bent on a similar strategy.  Lacking even the basic capability to even feed her own people, North Korea has used the tactic of saber rattling to get our attention.  The two remaining communist countries, Cuba and North Korea, have been fighting it out to see who can produce the most misery for their own people.

Thus, when the rice crop fails, and a few million North Koreans starve to death, the government announces that they're going to test their intercontinental nuclear program by launching a long range missile.  The ground roars and shakes, the rocket is launched and falls impotently into the Sea of Japan.

When things get really bad their "fearless leader" Kim Jon Un (the IV?; all appear to be retarded) declares that he's more than ready to dispatch a suitcase nuclear bomb to the middle of Manhattan and set it off.

After enough grumbling and rumbling the Western powers send the brute a few million tons of rice and grains and manages to keep his communist minions alive on a starvation level diet.

The latest aggression has been the massive cyber attacks on South Korea and the United States.  And we should take this threat seriously.  Coupled with North Korea's export of nuclear technology, at garage sale prices, to folks like the Iranian mullahs, the threat of cyber war is real...and we need to be paying attention....and responding to these acts of hostility.

First of all, let's quit feeding the North Koreans.  People hungry enough will eventually overthrow tyrants who can't and won't feed them.  Secondly, it wouldn't hurt a bit to send Kim Jon Un a little early morning wakeup call with a few tactical strikes at their nuclear facilities.

And, god no, we don't need to start a war of occupation, trying to battle a million man North Korean army.  Just shake em up, bomb their granaries and nuclear sites, then send Dennis Rodman in to negotiate a truce.

Let's kill this mouse before he's able to bring cyber plague to our nation's essential computer networks. And if China utters a single squeak we threaten to empty Walmart of all Chinese made goods.

Problem solved.

1 comment:

Ken said...

The problem was, in the movie, they won the war with the USA and had no idea what to do next. That is one of my absolute favorite movies, and a good comparison to North Korea.
Haven't we already sent the IL family several billion dollars and food stuffs as well? I do hope we don't go to war with them, from what I've seen in documentaries they already are convinced we are the evil empire and the ILs are the savior. Weird. I read a biography of a guy who survived the gulag there and escaped to the US. Tragic story of a tragic life. Why those people haven't risen up yet is beyond me although I'm wondering the same about this country.