Friday, August 2, 2013

"I Give You 80 to 1 Odds That You'll Love This!"

Good morning folks,

A couple of years ago there was much talk about a Brad Pitt movie, the plot of which was the experiences of a man who was reverse-aging.  I didn't see the movie and am only familiar with it at all because I had caught a couple of movie trailers and perhaps a mention on some movie awards show.  However, as I sit here this morning, drinking my morning cup of Joe and drinking in the beauty of my backyard trees and shrubs and vegetable garden, I thought of how few times I stopped to "smell the roses" when I was young.  I then began to think how our creator, despite having machined the wondrously complex organism called "us", really screwed it all up.

Now, if God really wanted to turn out a whole slew of really fine human beings he would have indeed "reversed-aged" us. 

Okay, before you scoff at the idea, try to imagine all of the possibilities here.

Let's take sex for example:  We are born at 80, we are going bald and/or gray and we have this spare tire belly, our circulatory system is all clogged with cholesterol, our hormones are on life support, our tits are sagging and we've got more stretch marks than a ten year old pair of spandex pants.  Though we have sex less frequently, we certainly get through the "learning process" so that by the time we are 70 we've got the sex thing figured out pretty well.  As we get younger the sex just keeps getting better and better so that, by the time we're 30 we are handsome and pretty and muscular, our sexual equipment is so fine tuned we literally hum and we're all sensually supreme sexual beings!

Admit it!  You enjoyed that scenario immensely, didn't you!  Okay, just calm down now...go wipe and dry whatever got wet and let's get back to the subject at hand.

Now let's consider less hormonally charged matters.  Having lived 50 years, and having gained a half century of wisdom that can only come from the life experience, at thirty we are wise, we are more considerate of our fellow human beings, we have probably learned to manage our money more judiciously, we have received a well planned, well conceived education, we are more appreciative of nature's gifts and we are at last free to fully enjoy our life, we are our beautiful selves, in married bliss since our 60 year old children have left the nest and are out on their own. 

We "retire" from work and go live in a "junior community" where everyone is active in jogging, swimming, mountain climbing and amateur baseball and football leagues.  We have a great fifteen years living in a junior community before we leave it to go live in the Charlie and The Chocolate Factory Teen Camp.

At Charlies we begin texting and tweeting and have teen dances and hay rides and skate board till dark.
As we get younger we begin to enjoy games like "Red Light, Green Light" and Marbles and Hop Scotch.

Soon it's time to turn us over to a nursery for our final days.  We play with wind up toys and embrace stuffed animals and tinker toys.  And, at the end, we die with a wholesome tit in our mouth and a smile on our face.

Now, if you can come up with a better life scenario than that, let me hear it!

God....are you listening?  :)


Anonymous said...

And we would appreciate our youth and our health having already been through the diseases and ill health in old age. It does all seem backwards, doesn't it? jo

JustCommonSense said...

Good morning Jo,
Yep, you are so right!

Darlene said...

Oh Dear Brother,, you got me smiling this morning,, love it!

JustCommonSense said...

Love to make you smile dear.

JustCommonSense said...

In about 20 minutes or so I will have passed 20,000 pageviews on my blog; I consider that pretty good since I've only been blogging for four months. Thanks to all who visit and read my blog. I'm glad it was a humor entry that put me over the 20,000 mark. We need humor as an outlet since we must deal so seriously with national concerns. I like to think I offer a bit of both of life's sweet and sour! Thanks for helping me get to this landmark!

grenadavet said...

Great blog!! Remember "Mork and Mindy" with Jonathan Winters playing their son who reversed aged, but with the child's attitude in reverse??? If only..........