Wednesday, May 4, 2016

"Y, oh Y Must We Be Persecuted?"


Well, the "Y" generation is once more on a rampage, demanding they be given a little "safe space" from their persecution by Starbucks! 
Seems that the "Y-ers" are filing a class action suit against Starbucks, because they believe the ratio of ice to coffee in their iced coffee drinks is leading to "predatory pricing!". (…/starbucks-sued-over-ice-to-coffee-…)
Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, icon of liberalism, champion of diversity, who once ordered his baristas to accuse Starbucks customers as racists with the flick of a pen, remarked that he was shocked by the lawsuit.
The "Y-ers" assert that a 24 ounce Venti shouldn't be 14 ounces of coffee and 10 ounces of ice.".
Schultz responded by saying "how do you expect me to pay our baristas a nice salary, and fund their retirement, health and education benefits if I can't stiff my customers with $3 dollars worth of ice?"
CEO Schultz also remarked that, in light of the $15 per hour crusade for burger flippers. McDonald's is debuting a "mini-Big Mac" that they plan to sell for the same price of a regular Big Mac. Schultz says "if you want to support higher wages for fast food workers you've got to be willing to pay more at the counter!"
In response, lawyers for the "Y-ers" say the class action suit will continue, saying "The Y generation have heard Bernie Sanders espouse getting something for nothing for months now, and believe they should certainly get more for their money when they shell out $6 bucks for a cup of iced coffee!"
As most know, the Y generation have become suing fools. They sued Subway for not delivering on the "6-inch sub", despite Y men tutoring the ladies on just what "6 inches" really is. And they are suing Frito Lay for the air packed in the top of those lunch box size Frito packages. They feel confident that they can move Starbucks toward "coffee quality" too.
Class action suit claims coffee company rips customers off with the amount of beverage it provides for the price in iced coffee


Craig Bailey said...

Why couldn't those suing and their lawyers just take a long walk off a short pier? Tell them there is free stuff just off the end. HaHa

Frank Krzesowiak said...

Should be a penalty for "Frivolous Lawsuits" and the Ambulance Chaser Attorney's should have to pay it. They mock America, it's people and it's freedoms. You don't like it, don't buy it. Should be a sign posted in every store, like the one you find in Bars. We have the right to refuse service to anyone. What have these Idiot Liberals done to our Country?

A Modest Scribler said...

Gents, this kind of stuff are just symptoms of our growing national insanity. Sad. Damned Sad.