Thursday, April 11, 2013

Taking Obama's Cue; I Present My Budget

Since I was sitting down last night to finish off my taxes, I decided to just go ahead and prepare a new family budget.  And this time, instead of using the same old boring budget parameters I've always used I decided to model my personal budget on the federal budget that President Obama sent to Congress yesterday.  I figure the President has a dozen Harvard MBA's and half a dozen economists on his staff so he must know what he's doing.   So, in keeping with Obama's financial principles, I prepared my personal budget.

Now, the President's Chief Economic Advisor has said projected taxes and fees will bring in $2.5 trillion dollars for the federal government.  However, our President sees the need to fund $3.77 trillion dollars in programs in order to keep everybody happy.

I make about $30,000 a year...and I'm not happy.  So, to make me happy, I plan to take a few vacations this year.  I think I'll spend a couple of weeks in Hawaii, bask in the sun down in the Bahamas for two weeks, and when snow season is upon us, I'm planning a trip to Vail for a little skiing and swooshing and hot toddies.  I'm also going to play more golf.

In addition to added vacation time, I plan to upgrade my menu; I've pretty well exhausted all the hamburger recipes that were ever written.  So, I'm hankering for steak and lobster.  And since I haven't dined out for months (and that was at McDonald's) I plan to hit the culinary circuit a lot more.

And really, how can I be seen in these same tired outfits all the time, I think both my friends and I would enjoy seeing me in clothing that came into style this decade!

I've had a cavity for months and pray each night that it doesn't degrade to a root canal anytime soon so I think I'm going to go ahead and splurge and get the damn thing filled!  

Well, all of this costs money!  But I figure I'm okay if I just stick to the guiding budget parameters of those Harvard trained tax and budget experts who hang around the White House!

So, here's my plan.  I have totalled all my personal "revenue streams" and have come up with working capital of $30,000 dollars per year.  

Then I sat down and estimated the costs for my many vacations, my golf dues, my projected grocery bills, a pretty solid projection of fine dining costs, have estimated what it's going to cost me for a couple of new outfits at Men's Warehouse ("I'll be glad I did") and I figure I can't get by without spending at least $49,000 per year.

Yes, I know my spending exceeds my income by $19,000 dollars.  But just this week I heard Obama's Treasury Secretary, Jack Lew, give a speech to his European counterparts, and he was urging them to emulate the U.S. and institute "deficit spending".  And that's what I plan to do!  It's good for the economy and it's good for me and it is championed by the smartest money man in Obama's cabinet!  Guess I'll just tell Uncle Sam that I won't be paying all my taxes due this year and use those funds to supplement my spending plans.

Whoops!  I just took a sip of hot coffee and irritated the hell out of that tooth cavity!  Looks like I'm going to go "root canal" on that booger.  No problem.  I'll just revise my personal spending up a little more.  When it comes to stimulating the economy, I'm all for it!

1 comment:

Ken said...

I have become a proponent of "NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION". I know it's already been done, but it worked so well, I'll just steal the idea and hope it sells as well this time!
Personally, I've just had it with every politician I've voted for in the last twenty or more years who have done not one single thing I have requested, and I am a letter writing fool when in comes to my representatives, so I figure my revolt is appropriate as well. If you would like to join in you can do like so many others in the obama White House and just not pay your taxes at all. Your a man of obvious integrity, so no sense compromising that by using obamamath to calculate a tax you'll never be able to pay (if your really planning to emulate himself) and just not pay at all with a loud proclamation attached to your return, "NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!"

Thank You for you consideration!!