Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Hillary For Mayor?


So did any of you read this past week about folks pressuring Hillary to run for mayor of New York City?  (Absolutely it for yourself!)

Apparently, Hillary's staff is already writing her Mayoral Platform.  She promises to run a corruption free NYC administration and make things really, really good for folks in the Big Apple.

Her first order of business will be to disarm the city's Boy's in Blue, allowing them to carry only a baton like those Bobbys over in London town.  She'll then invite those 30 million illegal Mexicans in the country to New York, kind of a "maid and gardener" in every pot" type of deal, and she'll house most of them in pre-fabricated huts on the old Polo Grounds.

Hillary will then buy all of Warren Buffet's Dairy Queen franchises in the five boroughs, then convert them to abortion clinics, turning out dead fetuses as quickly as DQ turned out ice cream cakes.

Bill is already being recruited to head Hillary's Municipal Council On Women, a task that will keep him busy and out of trouble, since he'll be provided with a harem of liberal women to satisfy any lingering 70 year old hungers.

To win a plurality in Manhattan, Hillary has promised to cut the price of a Broadway show in half, the city subsidizing half of the ticket price, so that every New Yorker will get to go see "Hamilton", the latest "show rage", that portrays Hamilton as the first "flaming liberal".  (And all the while old Alex is spinning in his grave in that cemetery just down from Broad Street...where Alex once hawked veterans bonds for 3 cents on the dollar for his business friends).

And, in a very generous gesture meant to solve the Syrian refugee problem, Hillary will offer to take in half of Syria, house them in Bedouin tents out past JFK Airport, then bus them into town each feed them at Pita Jungle franchises.

Lastly, Hillary plans to declare "Eminent Domain" on Trump Tower, tear it down, and build public housing for New York's LGBT community.  She plans to name the new building "Rainbow's End".

Ain't this grand?  If any of you readers plan to move to New York, I'd advise you to book with Mayflower's gonna get busy!

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