Another Kind of 3AM Phone Call

                                                                       

Ringgggggggggg.

"Hello"

"Hi Hill, Deb here. Terrible news....the DNC got hacked and they leaked our emails".

Hillary:  "Oh shit!  Did they find everything?"

Deb:  "Nah...nothing about our lesbian relationship...just the stuff where I suggested how we were going to "burn the Bern".

Hillary:  "Well, Deb, ya know we couldn't have won this nomination without the DNC going rogue, and yeah, those Super Delgates were helpful too".

Deb:  "What do you expect we should do?"

Hillary:  "Well, the first thing I'm gonna do is to call Bill and tell him to go down to the basement and wipe that damn server again".

Deb:  "Yeah, good idea....but what are we gonna tell the press?"

Hillary:  "How in the world did those DNC computers get hacked?"

Deb:  "We used the same IT guys that you used for that basement server."

Hillary:  "Oh shit!"

Deb:  "Yeah".

Hillary:  "Did they identify the hackers?"

Deb:  "Not sure.  Wikileaks released it...think it might be the Russkies".

Hillary:  "Russia?  I thought we had Putin in the tank when we sold him all that damn uranium and gave him that red re-set button".

Deb:  "Well, no matter who hacked us, let's blame it on the Russkies".

Hillary:  "Do you think that will fly?"

Deb:  "Sure...we'll blame the whole damn thing on Trump".

Hillary:  "Will the media buy that?"

Deb:  "You're kidding right?  I'll just send a memo to CNBC, CNN, NBC, CBS and ABC and remind those bastards over there of how many of their wives or husbands who work for the Administration".

Hillary:  "Brilliant, Deb".  Say, now that the cat's out of the bag, and since you're already "outed", why not just come on board as my campaign manager?"

Deb:  "Cool, Hil!"  "And thanks so much!"  

Hillary:  "Okay, we're agreed".  "We blame this on Trump and the Ruskies".

Deb:  "But what will we do if the press asks us about those "Bernie-Burning" emails?  Can't blame that on the Russkies".

Hillary:  "Get serious Deb...I got everyone of those liberal bitches in my pocket...and if anyone gives us any lip I'll just show em a pic of Vince Foster and Lafayette Park".

Deb:  "Oh yeah!"

Hillary:  "So just lay low until after the convention, Deb."  "In fact, I gotta little time now...why don't you come on up for a little slap and tickle!"

Deb:  "I'll be there in five minutes, Hil".  "Should I wear that leather number you like so much?"

Hillary:  "Grrrrrrrr!"