Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Another Kind of 3AM Phone Call




"Hi Hill, Deb here. Terrible news....the DNC got hacked and they leaked our emails".

Hillary:  "Oh shit!  Did they find everything?"

Deb:  "Nah...nothing about our lesbian relationship...just the stuff where I suggested how we were going to "burn the Bern".

Hillary:  "Well, Deb, ya know we couldn't have won this nomination without the DNC going rogue, and yeah, those Super Delgates were helpful too".

Deb:  "What do you expect we should do?"

Hillary:  "Well, the first thing I'm gonna do is to call Bill and tell him to go down to the basement and wipe that damn server again".

Deb:  "Yeah, good idea....but what are we gonna tell the press?"

Hillary:  "How in the world did those DNC computers get hacked?"

Deb:  "We used the same IT guys that you used for that basement server."

Hillary:  "Oh shit!"

Deb:  "Yeah".

Hillary:  "Did they identify the hackers?"

Deb:  "Not sure.  Wikileaks released it...think it might be the Russkies".

Hillary:  "Russia?  I thought we had Putin in the tank when we sold him all that damn uranium and gave him that red re-set button".

Deb:  "Well, no matter who hacked us, let's blame it on the Russkies".

Hillary:  "Do you think that will fly?"

Deb:  "Sure...we'll blame the whole damn thing on Trump".

Hillary:  "Will the media buy that?"

Deb:  "You're kidding right?  I'll just send a memo to CNBC, CNN, NBC, CBS and ABC and remind those bastards over there of how many of their wives or husbands who work for the Administration".

Hillary:  "Brilliant, Deb".  Say, now that the cat's out of the bag, and since you're already "outed", why not just come on board as my campaign manager?"

Deb:  "Cool, Hil!"  "And thanks so much!"  

Hillary:  "Okay, we're agreed".  "We blame this on Trump and the Ruskies".

Deb:  "But what will we do if the press asks us about those "Bernie-Burning" emails?  Can't blame that on the Russkies".

Hillary:  "Get serious Deb...I got everyone of those liberal bitches in my pocket...and if anyone gives us any lip I'll just show em a pic of Vince Foster and Lafayette Park".

Deb:  "Oh yeah!"

Hillary:  "So just lay low until after the convention, Deb."  "In fact, I gotta little time now...why don't you come on up for a little slap and tickle!"

Deb:  "I'll be there in five minutes, Hil".  "Should I wear that leather number you like so much?"

Hillary:  "Grrrrrrrr!"


Jerry Carlin said...

How in the heck did you break into Their Emails?

A Modest Scribler said...

I hacked their phones, Jerry. ;). By the way, how ya doing? Still harvesting tomatoes and doing beautiful iron work?

Jerry Carlin said...

Thanks, the garden is not quite as good as last year, the Global Warming brought a colder and wetter May and June! I built a Pizza Oven! (on my blog) and that was my challenge for this year. Getting most of my political news from comedy (of errors!).

A Modest Scribler said...

Saw the oven, Jerry. Marvelous! As was the pizza! Give and Take Care.