Note: Thanks to the NSA Obama was able to tap Vladimir Putin's phone. Thanks to the Freedom of Information Act (and a brother in law in the NSA) I was able to get a copy of one of Vlad's conversation. "Interesting!"
Boris: "Comrade Putin?...."this is Boris.
Putin" "S'up Boris?"
Boris: "My liege...invading the Crimea was a stroke of genius!" "I've been hanging around Washington as you asked me to, and good news!" "Those American idiots are going to borrow another $4 billion from China and send economic aid to the Ukraine!"......
Putin: "Wonderful! Wonderful!" "Do we still have those secret Gasprom accounts over there?"
Boris: "Sure do, Vlad"..."we'll siphon off those funds before Obama even knows what happened!" "After all, you saw how easy we siphoned off those billions in Iraq and Afghanistan"..."this is even easier, we don't even have to change banks!"
Putin: "Okay, Boris...but hold off on transferring that money, just now"..."I'm thinking about a bigger haul"..."what say I invade the rest of the Ukraine?"..."that ought to be good for another $10 billion or so."
Boris: "Brilliant Comrade, Brilliant!"..."tee hee". "But aren't you worried that Obama might get his feathers up about this?"
Putin: "Hell no!" "Don't you remember our summit over in Korea last year?" "When Barack promised me he could be more flexible after his re-election?" "What the hell did you think he was talking about?" "He also promised that he would never let Georgia and Poland into Nato...and that I could have both of them if I'd just play it cool until he won another election."
Boris: "Gazoots my liege!" "When are we going to invade those two little snot countries?"
Putin: "Cool your heels, Boris.....Obama still has two more years left on his term..there's plenty of time to take anything we want." "Actually, I'm waiting on an even bigger prize!"
Boris: "Vlad, what do you have up your tricky little sleeve now?"
Putin: "I just told my ass licker in the my news agency to threaten to nuke America and leave it in ashes!"
Boris: "You're not worried about Obama's response to the threat of nuclear war?"
Putin: "Nyet"..."Obama is a socialist...and we're Communist"....Know the difference between a Socialist and a Communist, Boris?" "A socialist likes to sit around in loose clothing and sing Joan Baez and Bob Dylan songs, and hope for the best." "A Communist has a big set of balls and invades where he damn well pleases!"
Boris: "Comrade Putin, how did you become so wise?"
Putin: "I just studied how Comrade Brezhnev screwed the pooch with Jimmy Carter...and found out Obama is an even easier ''lay"
Boris: "Vlad, what was it that you whispered in Obama's ear at last year's summit?"
Putin: "I just told him that I thought his Obamacare program was brilliant."
Boris: 'Tee hee!"..."wait until Rocky and Bullwinkle hear about this!"