When Am I Gonna Get To Show My "Bulge"

                                                                           

I adore women, but there are days when I absolutely hate them.  Too many women today expect to hold men to impossible standards....to be both feminine and masculine on the turn of a coin.  They want men to shave their pubes, shave their chest, hell, even shave their arms and legs.  And they want men to do the laundry, wash the dishes, change the diapers, and perform these "wifely" things while they themselves wouldn't even consider changing a tire, mowing the lawn, or wield a hammer.  And many modern women want their husband to "role play"....to be feminine when they want you too, and yet, play the swashbuckling, blouse ripping pirate, or sadist a la "50 Shades of Gray"when they get a little tingle for that as well!

I wrote about this new sexual identify phenomena in a blog years ago called "In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks".  For the last 30 years masculinity has been under constant attack....somehow if men aren't "girlish" enough they are deemed sexist pigs.

If today's woman were held to the same standards as men, we'd have an epidemic rush to the psychiatrist's couch, because no human being can "role play" for any length of time before going totally bananas.  And yet that's what women expect from men these days!

Case in point, let's look at the recent sexual blowup over on Fox News.  First we have Gretchen Carlson suing Fox and former director Roger Ailes for sexual harassment.  Gorgeous Andrea Tanteros soon followed suit.  And yet no one seems to ask some pretty pertinent questions....such as why did Gretchen Carlson not complain when she was making a million a year showing half a mile of legs each weekday morning?  Why did she sue only after Fox cancelled her contract because her show was getting low ratings?

Then Andrea Tanteros jumped on the band wagon, again claiming sexual harassment.  Prior to this lawsuit Andrea was all over the internet, posing in bikinis, posing nearly nude, and, when on air, wearing dresses so short you could see half her ass when she sat down.  And what I find particularly remarkable about Andrea's complaint was that she once had a ball, purring and teasing former Senator Scott Brown over his posing for Playgirl Magazine thirty years ago when he was in his 20's.  On "The Five" that morning she was literally undressing Scott Brown, making lewd comments about his sexy body.  Then, three years later, she includes Scott Brown as one of her "sexual harassers"!

Isolated incident?  I don't think so.  Just watch those Hollywood ladies walk the red carpet on any awards show.  Their gowns rise up to their ass, their nipples are protruding through their silk tops, even as they decry the idea that a man might value them only for their body!  

The male equivalent would be men walking around showing their bulge....in fact taking all necessary steps to draw attention to that bulge!  When will men have the right to wear thin silky pants, sans underwear, and walk about in public, "free balling" to their heart's content?  Not any time soon I assure you...they'd be arrested in a New York minute for obscenity.  

Fair's fair ladies.  Let's have more crotch shots of George and Brad as well as the local male news lead on your local news channel!  Let's see how far that goes before some decency league takes up the cause to ban "bulge shots" in your local Target, or on the red carpet, or while Tim is reporting on the weather in downtown Cleveland!

Earth to ladies:  If you wear a top where 7/8ths of your breasts are visible, I'm gonna look.  If you wear dresses up to your ass I'm gonna admire your legs and as much ass that's visible.  And if you want me to do the dishes, or fold the laundry, you'd better be willing to get out there and mow the yard!

And, god damn it, make up your mind!  You either want a man or you want a hermaphrodite!  Choose, because you can't have both!

Just saying.