Friday, April 25, 2014

How To Halt Gay Marriage In It's Tracks

There's a same sex female couple down in Alabama who want to change the state law on same sex they can legally get a divorce in that state.  Seems they went up to Vermont a few years ago, got hitched, then found marriage ain't what it's cracked up to be. Now they don't want to travel back to the state that recognized their marriage and want Alabama to change their laws so they can divorce.  (Alabama said "since we don't recognize your marriage, just go your own ways and everything is hunky dory with us since we didn't recognize it to begin with")

Well, it has always been my contention that gays have lusted after marriage because it's something they can't have.  Now that they can, in 17 states, they're finding out marriage is not all what it's cracked up to be.   No more cruising the gay bars, no more lollapaloozas, no more fun.  Okay, I know that's a bit harsh but single straights have their own mating rituals as well so let's have equality in all things, huh?

Well, in the interest of good will, I've got the perfect solution for halting this gay marriage thing in its tracks:  no more taxpayer millions expended on defending the Defense of Marriage Act, no more federal judges sifting through mounds of evidence and weeks of testimony.  Just have Congress enact a law that bans all marriages, gay or straight.

Now you may think this is a bit much, but consider the current state of our society.  Over 50% of all marriages today end in divorce.  According to several studies the breakdown is as follows:  41% of all first marriages end in divorce, it rises to 60% for second marriages, and a dismal 73% for third marriages.  

Clearly Americans these days hold little value for the sacred vows of marriage.  Further, millions of people just choose to shack up, form domestic partnerships and avail themselves of a steady piece of ass without the dreary commitments that marriages demand.   And hell, the tax codes and welfare bennies all favor those who tell daddy to hit the road,  or, more telling, women just breed kids from various fathers and rely on the taxpayer to pay for the upkeep.

So why bother with all this?  Let's just all shack up, keep our dating options open, manage our own personal finances and split the cost of the rent or mortgage!   Those who need the formality of a legal document can always just establish a civil union, recognized by nearly every state in the nation.

So let's quit sweating this gay marriage thing.  And you folks that are offering the "reproduction of children" argument, give it up.....very few of you are producing babies, with the exception of Blacks who do it to up their welfare and WIC and food stamp booty, and illegal Mexicans who believe there is strength in numbers and every anchor baby gives them a toe hold on America's extremely generous social welfare programs.   Whites are either shooting blanks or tired of sex cause we're actually seeing a decline in the White birth rate.

I guarantee you if we start banning marriage altogether, if we look at the tax advantages of "single, head of household",  when all women tell hubby to hit the road and cash in on Uncle Sugar's generous support to single mothers, we'll have the gays flocking to Divorce Court in droves.  

Problems solved.


Jerry Carlin said...

Man, I really liked this idea but I asked my wife and she wouldn't let me!

A Modest Scribler said...

Laughing here, Jerry...fading to a smile. Craziness always offers a little shade of truth, doesn't it!

Anonymous said...

Just think. In the not-to-distant future, daytime television will have some new programming.

Stay tuned for the next episode of
'Gay Divorce Court'.

Trevor M-K said...

I'm glad there are other people who dislike the whole gay marriage "controversy" and the wasted money over the Defense of Marriage Act.

I'm also a firm believer that marriage does not equal love. Hypothetically speaking, if two men/women were together for many years, does marriage really mean anything at that point or is it just a status symbol? It is sickening how they rub their lifestyle in straight peoples faces with this and celebrate them being able to marry, when the only ones benefiting are politicians and lawyers.

A Modest Scribler said...

Haven't heard from you in a while, Trevor M-K...nice to see you're still around and kicking!

Trevor M-K said...

Oh yes I'm still around. I try to catch up on your articles on my days off, always a great read. Always a good read when I can get to it. Hope everyone had a great Sunday!

A Modest Scribler said...

Thanks, Trevor...always good to hear from you.