Thursday, February 16, 2012
Michelle Obama's School Contraband
The Scene: A street corner a hundred yards from an elementary school.
"Psst! Hey kid!"....look what I got here. (Pulls item from pocket of wrinkled trench coat, hides it in the palm of his hand. "Wanna get a high kid?" "This is gonna make you feel good, here's a little sample...and if you like it, I'll be here to sell you some more, only $4 bucks a hit".
The pusher then palms the item and slips it into the shirt pocket of the vulnerable teen, then walks away, his voice trailing "see you tomorrow, kid".
The kid trudges off to school, proceeds to his locker and slips the contraband behind the books in his locker....but not before being seen by his best buddy. "Hey", says buddy, "where did you score, man?"
"Got my sources", the kid smirks. His buddy pleads "oh, man, let me see it". "Okay", says the kid, "but keep it on the lowdown".
The kid looks both ways down the corridor before pulling the item out of the locker so that his buddy can admire the booty. "Wow!, say his buddy, "how did you ever score a whole pack of Twinkies?" "You know if you get caught with these you're gonna get a big time detention". "When Ms. Obama got that law passed that banned junk food, soda and anything fried, the food police are death, man".
"Yeah, I know" says the kid "but sometimes ya just got to back away from celery and carrot sticks and baked squash, man".
"Hey", says the buddy, you think your "dealer" could score a can of Mountain Dew?"... "I'll pay big time for that".
"I'll check with him", says the kid.
"Cool", says the buddy. "Hey", you going to the prom Saturday night?". "Nah", says the kid. "Heard they're serving soy meatballs and asparagus for prom dinner". "Big Ugh". "I'm set up to go to a rave party Saturday night". "One of the guys has a pipeline to some heavy grub coming in from Tijuana...says he can score two or three dozen Quarter Pounders from a Micky D's down there"
"Fries too?" says the buddy.
"Get real", the kids says, then hurries off to first period Nutrition class.