Friday, September 16, 2016

A Few Debate Pointers For The Donald


As the first Presidential debate nears I'm sure Clinton and Trump are already trotting out "dummies" to assume the role of opponent in the many practice sessions prior to the debate.  Not that Trump ever listens to anyone (which is his achilles heel) but, if he did, here's a few debate pointers I'd offer:

Hillary:  "I ask you, America..what is Mr. Trump hiding in his taxes?  Why won't he release them?"

Trump:  "Folks, Hillary is your typical liberal, always wanting to get into your personal business.  I'm mean, really, has anyone forgotten Hillary's pal, IRS Chief Lois Lerner, and how she persecuted conservatives?"  "Folks, instead of my tax returns, you ought to be asking Hillary and Bill how they amassed $200 million dollars in personal wealth while never working in the private sector in their entire lives!".  "That's what you should be asking!"

On Foreign Policy

Hillary:  "The problem with Mr. Trump is that he scares the bejesus out of our allies!"  "He has absolutely no foreign policy experience!"

Trump:  "Well, I have to admit that Hillary has far more foreign policy experience.....she knows em all by name....cause she and Bill have collected checks with their names on them...hundreds of millions from those checks."  "And hasn't she been successful in foreign the Egyptian Arab Spring, the Russian Re-Set, Libya, Syria, the Iran Nuclear Deal.....I'll tell you right now, if that's foreign policy experience, please pass me by!"

Hillary:   "Oh, Mr. Trump, at least I don't go around publicly praising Vladimir Putin!"

Trump:  "No, Madam Secretary, you don' do it behind close you even want to get into those sales of uranium to the Russians, just as they were writing a big check for the Clinton foundation?

On Women Issues

Hillary:  "Donald Trump has shown time and time again how little respect he has for American women!  He has said outrageous things about them!"

Trump:  "You mean like calling all of the women Bill had an affair with "bimbos?" "And your own senior advisor is married to a guy who gets off sending pics of his penis on the internet!"  Please don't talk to me about disrespecting women....I've hired more women and paid them better than you could even dream of!"

On Trust

Hillary:  "Come November the American people will have to make a decision about who they can best trust to lead this nation. ...I believe I'm the one.  I'm not a Wall Street mogul and I care about the little people."

Trump:  "No, that's true, Hillary, you're not a business person."  But we'd all like you to release those transcripts from those $200,000 dollars speeches you gave to every big bank in the nation....I'm sure you sucked up to them big time to pull in that kind of cash."

Concluding Statements:

Hillary:  "My fellow Americans, if you give me your vote in November, I promise to continue with President Obama's policies; in foreign affairs, with Obamacare, with blanket amnesty for "undocumented" migrants, and with his wonderful policies so transparent and above board during these last eight years."

Trump:  "I don't need to say another word....Hillary just gave you all the reasons why you should vote for me".

Note:  Nope, Trump won't take my advice here.  You are free to forward this to his campaign staff if you like....don't have much hope that he'd use it...but if he did he'd win that first debate.


Brian Kalifornia said...

Looky, looky, Scribe is coming around. Glad to see it, we American's welcome you.

A Modest Scribler said...

Not coming around, Brian....just trying to level the playing field.