"Matt Dillon Finally Scores!"
Does anyone remember, when you were young and had such an imagination, that you could build castle walls in your mind so solid you could knock on them? Or when you laid in bed at night and took a train trip to New York City...and all in your mind? Then, as you get older the trials of life dampen down those imaginary flights to "wonderfulness".
Be of good cheer, young-ins! Those same imaginary skills come back to you in your old age dotage! Just today I was watching a re-run of Gunsmoke...and it was a humdinger! Matt Dillon, while pursuing a bad guy, gets ambushed, a bullet grazing the back of his head and sending him into a state of amnesia. So, along comes young widow woman-rancher, beautiful Michael Learned. She hauls Matt back to her ranch and nurses him back to physical health...except Matt, now with amnesia, doesn't know who he is. Well, for the next 30 minutes big Matt and lovely widow woman dance around their attraction for each other, with Miss Kitty fading into the gauzy depths of Matt's brain, falls in love with lady rescuer....and she reciprocates that love.
Before you know it Matt's getting a little tired of sleeping in that rocking chair out in the front room...and lovely widow woman is restless in her bedroom. And damned if "apple cheek clean" Gunsmoke didn't subtly imply that Matt and lovely widow woman shared a bed for the night! Just before commercial fade-out lovely widow woman throws open the door of her bedroom and Matt springs out of that rocking chair like he'd been bit in the ass by a rattler! (I was starting to wonder about Matt's "manhood"..20 years with a saloon lady and they never seem to go to bed with each other!)
After getting over my shock at this I started day dreaming about how nice it would be to get amnesia! Just imagine! You could do all kinds of "naughty" things and get away with it! Hit the strip clubs, frolic in singles bars...and take em home for some "slap and tickle" all night! And blame it on amnesia! "Hey, that wasn't me!...I didn't even know I was married!" What are they gonna say? They can't say squat!...you've got amnesia!
Well, damn it, my mind came back to Gunsmoke and some fella comes along, recognizes Matt and tells lovely widow lady who he is. Lovely widow lady chews on the idea not to tell Matt who he is, but then accidentally calls him Matt, which sends memories flooding back to the front of Matt's brain; of Dodge City, and Chester, and, yes, dammit, Miss Kitty! Well...you can guess how the rest of it went, Matt took care of the bad guy, then rode out on the trail, the lovely widow woman's eyes glistening as she watches him go. We don't really know what Matt's thinking...we can only see his ass in the saddle as he rides away. But I'd like to think ole Matt was smiling...a little guilt free slap and tickle is a good thing indeed!
That excellent episode of Gunsmoke got me to thinking; maybe I'll wander around under low hanging door wells...or thump my head on the car door a few times....there's always hope!