Saturday, May 12, 2012
Me and HSN and Winning the Lottery
If I ever win the lottery I'm going to set up million dollar trust funds for all my kids and grandkids. I'm going to donate a million bucks each to St. Jude's Children Cancer Research Hospital and the Humane Society. Then I'm going to buy a home in Maui and furnish it with a big screen television. Then I'll sit back, turn on Home Shopping Network, and buy every damn thing they are selling, hour by hour!
I love Home Shopping Network. I see stuff on there that I would love to buy for one or both of my daughters, or I see the latest craze in power washing, and I covet it!
Not everything reels me in. I'm not much for the jewelry shows, or the women's apparel, or the "Ahh Bra's"(although I don't mind watching the models!).
But I love just about every piece of cookware I've ever seen on HSN. I guess my favorite is Emeril's slow cooker that lets your brown and fry and slow cook all at the same time. I also get excited when he trots out that deep fryer that allows you to filter the oil, put it away and re-use it, without fuss.
Don't even get me going on all the gadgets, gizmo's and electronic stuff. I want it all!
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not an HSN groupie. I don't sit there with HSN on all the time. But when I do, I begin to covet what my neighbor has.
When I have had my fill on Sunday mornings of Meet The Press and This Week, I'll flip over to QVC and watch pudgie David on In The Kitchen With David". David is always hosting someone selling mouth-watering, lip-smacking goodness; Virginia Hams as big as my left hip, New York Cheesecake, or chocolate peanut butter cookies....and Pudgie Dave is sampling the fare and looks like he's having an orgasm as he wolfs down a goodie.
So, that's my dream folks! When I win the lottery I'll put a big smile on the faces of everyone I love, then head for the recliner and a HSN/QVC Marathon! "Hello, David"...send me a dozen of them hams, a case of cheesecake and a barrel of them peanut butter cookies!" :)