"California Dreamin-'Undocumented' Nirvana"

                                                       
An illegal immigrant crossing the border anywhere between Nogales, Arizona and the hills east of San Diego is on a quest for "gold" far more substantial than the Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez's quest for gold five hundred years ago.  Cortez died broken and all dreams of gold died with him.

Contrast that with the illegal immigrant who is crossing over the border even as I write this.  Most likely, he's on his way to Los Angeles.  As he and his family traverse the coastal range from San Diego to Los Angeles the government has conveniently posted diamond-shaped yellow signs with the profile of two adults and a child; the sign warns drivers along the I-5 corridor to be courteous and not run them over, as they may be crossing the busy freeway in flight from a Border Patrol unit.  Note: It is far more likely that the illegal is being transported, as "cargo" behind a load of Mexican lettuce in a truck. See this:  http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2011/05/19/20110519mexico-migrants-in-tractor-trailers-business.html  and http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/2011/05/19/20110519arizona-drug-smuggling-ring-arrests.html

Let's call that hypothetical family Juan, Juanita and little Jose.  Once they arrive in Los Angeles this illegal family will find a "welcome wagon" of bountiful government and community gifts just waiting for their arrival.  Their first stop will be a store front in a strip mall where, for less than a hundred bucks, they will be furnished with a fake Social Security card and a fake California Drivers license.  They will easily find housing because the Feds, championed by the ACLU, have dictated that it is "racist" to require proof of citizenship before renting your house or apartment.  Next stop will be to raid the local food bank meant to assist impoverished American citizens.  Now firmly established and "legal", Juan and Juanita, after registering little Jose in free public or charter schools, set out to secure employment, using some American citizen's Social Security number.

Juanita quickly finds a job as a hotel maid.  Her salary and tips amount to $2,000 dollars per month.  Juan, using his illegal contacts, quickly gets a construction job with a home remodelling contractor making $2,000 per month, all in cash, no benefits provided.  On his way home, Juan walks by a Home Depot and notes that illegal day workers are hanging out in the front of the store and learns that the "gringo" county government has mandated that Home Depot provide a restroom, water fountain and air conditioned picnic tables to ease the plight of illegal day laborers awaiting a "pickup".  (Google: Home Depots in Los Angeles ordered to install Day Labor rest facilities, I swear it is true!).  http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,286944,00.html

As Juan and Juanita become more acclimated to their new home country, they quickly learn from their illegal neighbors that there are at least two dozen taxpayer funded financial assistance programs available where the question of citizenship is verboten.  Their neighbors also recommend that Juanita get pregnant right away for that is the route for the real "mother lode" of benefits.  It gives the family access to the WIC program, welfare, free medical care under the Medicaid program, racial and economic preferences for low cost university tuition programs and a whole host of taxpayer give-aways. 

 

                                                      
       
Soon a year has passed and Juan and Juanita have raked in tens of thousands of good old American dollars.  While during a visit to a Western Union office to send money back to family in Mexico, Juan and Juanita learn from the Western Union operator that there is more "gold" to be had from Uncle Sam; "go over to that Hispanic owned tax office over there", they are urged.  "they will file your tax returns using a W7 (INIT) non-citizen tax filing".  The IRS will then return to you all of your payroll taxes and, as a bonus, will send you a check for thousands of dollars as a Child Tax Credit for little Jose.  You'll also get more money from an  Earned Income Credit because the IRS only knows about Juanita's salary" (wink, wink).

Juan, a little cautious, says "won't the IRS report us to ICE?".  "No way!", says their advisor.  By federal law the IRS is not allowed to report tax information or your address to ICE". 

So Juan and Juanita and little Jose are living the good life indeed!  Between Juan's tax-free salary and Juanita's taxable salary and financial freebies from state programs and food banks and  other goody give-aways, Juan and Juanita and little Jose are pulling in over $5,000 dollars per month and don't know what to do with all the money!

After buying a late model SUV, Juan and Juanita are cruising in high style.  Oh sure, Juan's driving is a little erratic since he hails from a small Mexican village and has no driving experience.  His new found illegal neighbors advise him not to be crazy enough to waste money on car insurance.  Very expensive they warn!  So Juan drives L.A. and truly hopes he doesn't have an accident, or god forbid, run over someone due to his driving deficiencies.  But he has now been trained to drive away from any accident because he knows that will surely get his SUV impounded and he'll be pursued in court for human and property damages.

Soon Juanita is pregnant and, as the family awaits the "mother lode" of benefits awaiting them upon the arrival of a "real American citizen", they decide to buy a home.  Soon they learn that the State of California will actually give them $40,000 dollars toward the purchase of a home!  (Google it; it's true!)  Juan and Juanita carefully select a California city that has declared itself a "sanctuary city", which denotes city governments that refuse to comply with E-Verify laws, illegal federal arrest warrants, and vows to protect the poor "undocumented immigrant" at all costs!  http://www.sanctuarycities.info/sanctuary_state_california.htm

Now permanently ensconced in the welcoming community and enjoying the advantages of tax evasion, enriched by dozens of free federal and state social service programs, enriched further by IRS Child and Family tax credits, Juan and Juanita and little Jose are literally rolling in abundance!

Then, Juan and Juanita and little Jose hear about these "radical" gringos who are demanding that they be deported!  Juan and Juanita are very angry!  Who wouldn't be?  They have a huge investment in the continuance of the gravy train and their very wealthy quality of life is threatened!  "By God, we'll take to the streets!" cried Juan and Juanita.  "We'll march by the tens of thousands through the streets of L.A!"   "We'll scare the hell out of those gringos and we'll eventually get amnesty and the gravy train will roll on!" 

"And if that doesn't work, we'll just call anyone who opposes illegal immigration, a racist!"...that'll do the trick.  Their mind at ease, Juan and Juanita crank up the mariachi music another notch and lean back and smile.  Ah "California Dreamin!".